Wife after childbirth mood swings. Features of the physical and psychological state of a woman after childbirth

For most new moms, frequent mood swings persist for the first few weeks. A sharp change in the hormonal background, lack of sleep and the burden of new responsibilities after the birth of a baby can for some time turn a timid quiet girl into a vixen, and a cheerful laugher into a crybaby. The range of emotions considered normal in postpartum period, is very wide, and many of them are unbearable both for others and for the woman herself.

The best medicine from the imbalance of the young mother-time. In most cases, the normal, non-pathological postpartum blues resolves after a few weeks or months. Disappear physiological causes mood swings: hormonal levels normalize, postpartum pain disappears, more rest is possible. In addition, a woman gets used to unexpected emotions and a new role.

Mood swings are unpleasant and uncomfortable, but generally not dangerous. It's completely normal to burst into tears during a TV entertainment show, argue with a mother about when to bathe a baby, or just feel stupid and helpless in the first weeks after giving birth. If between bursts of emotions you feel quite well, are able to enjoy life, eat well and sleep peacefully when possible, if you do not harm anyone (and are not afraid to do this), then there is nothing unusual in your condition.

A small but significant percentage of new mothers do experience postpartum depression or psychosis. This condition is much more dangerous to health and requires medical care. If emotions seem to be out of control and abnormally intense, ask yourself the following questions:

Are you depressed or anxious most of the time?

Do you have problems with appetite or sleep?

Do you have thoughts of murder or suicide?

Are you afraid of hurting yourself or your baby?

Do you or your husband have suspicions that you have lost your mind?

If you answered yes to any of the questions, or feel that your emotions take too long to normalize, this may indicate a more serious problem, and you should see a doctor. Don't set yourself up for unnecessary suffering: go straight to a trusted professional with a successful track record of treating postpartum depression or psychosis, or someone who can recommend one.

You, your child, and your husband deserve mental and physical comfort, and modern medicine offers good methods treatment.

If you answered negatively to these questions, then this state is temporary and it will soon pass. In the meantime, please yourself with something, for example, order sushi or pizza delivery at foodband. Food, as you know, can work wonders and lift your spirits.

Most women have heard stories about a change in the mood of young mothers immediately after the birth of the baby, which is called "postpartum depression."

Until recently, doctors practically did not study this problem, and pregnant women themselves rarely prepare to face such changes in their own emotional sphere. And indeed, it is difficult to imagine what kind of depression we can talk about when you so want to see your long-awaited baby as soon as possible and plunge into joyful worries about him.

Mood after childbirth: from laughter to tears - one step?

What happens to the psychological state of a woman after the birth of a baby? Usually, childbirth is accompanied by an incomparable feeling of euphoria, emotional upsurge, when it seems that the world is beautiful, and there are enough forces to move mountains. This feeling of relief and satisfaction can last from a few days to a couple of months, but along with it, most young mothers note in themselves a temporary tearfulness and a feeling of disappointment that catches them even in the hospital. In the first days, very often tears can be caused by any trifle or a small problem, and the mood after childbirth changes for no apparent reason. This is due to hormonal changes after childbirth and changes in the way of life and worldview of a woman. Physiological changes in the body of a young mother, as well as the need for the psyche to rebuild and adapt to new circumstances, lead to sharp mood swings from irritability to despondency and depression, from a burst of energy to complete apathy. Such jumps and drops, due to the physical and emotional efforts expended during pregnancy and childbirth, are normal if they pass within a few days.

At the same time, it must be understood that any emotional changes are best kept under observation in order to be able to notice conditions that require help or mandatory intervention. Even postpartum euphoria, accompanied by an energy boost, should be treated with caution, especially when it takes on hypertrophied forms. Outwardly, a young mother may seem absolutely happy, but looking closely at her behavior, it is easy to notice that she is too excited, agitated, overly energetic and sleeps little. Increased energy consumption, lack of proper rest in the first weeks after childbirth can lead to sudden exhaustion and loss of strength and, as a result, a sharp decrease in mood, insecurity, anxiety and anxiety.

Mood after childbirth: treat or ignore?

Mood swings after childbirth can be divided into three groups, differing in the severity of manifestations and the severity of the consequences.

Postpartum sadness, or baby blues. The syndrome of postpartum sadness appears in the first week after childbirth and is accompanied by tearfulness, emotional instability, fatigue and a feeling of despondency. Postpartum sadness usually does not lead to crisis manifestations and disappears after a few weeks on its own, without requiring any treatment. However, this does not mean that the first signs of emotional disturbances should be ignored. In the postpartum period, a woman more than ever needs the help of her family and loved ones to balance her mental state. A woman affected by postpartum depression suffers from increasing sensitivity to external and internal stimuli, depression, apathy and inertia, but if you do not ignore your nervous state, plunging into everyday affairs and forgetting about rest, give yourself the opportunity to discuss the problems that have arisen , these mood changes pass quickly and painlessly.

Wasting and postpartum depression. While most women experience emotional imbalance during the postpartum period, for some, the symptoms are so severe that they make it difficult to carry out daily activities. Postpartum depression can start at any time during the first year of a baby's life, last for several years, and be quite difficult to resolve. A few months after giving birth, a woman may begin to experience headaches, gastrointestinal disorders, and constant chills. These are signs of postpartum exhaustion, which can turn into depression if emotional distress, self-doubt and the fact that she is a good mother join him. The consequences of postpartum depression are quite serious. A woman can stop experiencing the joy of motherhood, lose interest and the ability to enjoy, become helpless in dealing with everyday issues. Signs of depression can also include loss of appetite, sleep disturbance, a gloomy vision of the future, slovenliness, difficulty concentrating, provoking conflict situations in the family, etc. It may seem to others that a young mother is simply sloppy and inexperienced, capricious or feels sorry for herself, In fact, she may be depressed. This condition requires support and help from loved ones, and sometimes advice from specialists.

postpartum psychosis. This is a fairly rare disease that can occur in the first few weeks after childbirth. Postpartum psychosis is a consequence of physical, mental and hormonal overload. It is characterized by a loss of contact with reality, a complete inability to take care of oneself and the child, intense excitement and anxiety. The woman who starts postpartum psychosis, may experience severe fear, suffer from insomnia, persecution mania, various kinds of addictions, hallucinations. She may want to do something to herself or the child. This condition requires immediate medical intervention and psychiatric help, and the sooner treatment is started, the greater the chance of a speedy recovery.

Causes of postpartum emotional crisis

It is impossible to single out any universal and clear reasons for the development of postpartum emotional problems, since each woman has a unique set of personal and physiological features. And, of course, everyone's situation is different. However, there are factors that contribute to the occurrence of this condition.

predisposition to depression. It can be either a hereditary feature or an individual one. In any case, if a woman is prone to emotional disturbances or had psychological problems before pregnancy, then she is more likely to experience depression after childbirth.

1. Hormonal changes after childbirth. Perhaps this reason is considered to be decisive in the development of postpartum emotional disorders. The hormonal background of a young mother changes significantly, and these changes for the most part do not occur smoothly and gradually, but sharply and quickly. Hormone levels that skyrocket during pregnancy drop to normal values in a few days, the level of other hormones increases rapidly, and the value of some hormones decreases during childbirth, but rises sharply in the first days after the baby is born. Such changes in the hormonal background cause natural mood swings in women.
2. Personal conflict. Sometimes depressive reactions can be associated with deep personal problems of a woman. Often a new mother experiences difficulties in accepting her new role, caused by emotional and physical fatigue or unpreparedness for the role of mother. It can be difficult for a woman to come to terms with the fact that the birth of a baby imposes a number of responsibilities and restrictions on her. She begins to realize that her usual way of life is changing dramatically, and this conflict between the new role and the usual demands that she has to give up provokes a feeling of dissatisfaction with life and depression. Difficulty adapting to the role of mother in such a situation is possible cause postpartum depression.
3. Stress. In itself, the birth of a child is a stressful phenomenon, because it is accompanied by great joy and excitement. But, besides this, childbirth and the postpartum period are also a colossal burden for a woman’s body and her psyche: physical fatigue, restless intermittent sleep, worries about the baby, being alone without the support of loved ones ... Each of these factors individually cannot lead to postpartum depression as a response to stress, but taken together they often cause emotional distress. It happens that in a woman’s life, simultaneously with the birth of a child, other stressful situations occur: the loss of loved ones, unplanned or difficult changes in lifestyle (change of work, place of residence), conflicts with a spouse or relatives, etc.

How to help a woman with postpartum depression?

If a woman still had to deal with postpartum emotional changes and she or her relatives notice that negative manifestations only intensify over time and affect the lifestyle of a young mother, the fight against postpartum depression should be started as soon as possible.

The best remedy for defeating this disease is a good rest. A young mother needs to reconsider her views on everyday affairs and limit herself to only those household duties that are really necessary. Basically, the task of the mother during this period is to focus on caring for the child and herself. Therefore, use your baby's bedtime to get enough sleep, then the world will no longer be seen in gloomy colors. Do not neglect the help of your husband, relatives and friends. If you have the opportunity to delegate your responsibilities, do it. As soon as the emotional upset passes, you will again be able to cope with all matters on your own.

Give yourself a regular day off when you could, for example, go shopping, meet a friend, or get a manicure. Try to walk more, and not by rolling a stroller around the house, but by choosing new routes, interesting places. A change of scenery is an indispensable tool in the fight against depression.

Do not withdraw into yourself and do not concentrate on your experiences. Look for support in your environment, tell your loved ones about your condition, experiences, feelings. The ability to express emotions is an important condition for liberation from them, and it will be easier for people around you to understand you if they know what is happening to you. Focus on your most appreciative listener—your baby. Communicate more with him, because it has been proven that mothers who are in close emotional connection with their child are less likely to suffer from depression.

And finally, the most important thing in the fight against serious emotional disorders - do not hesitate to contact specialists if you feel that something is wrong with you. An experienced psychologist will help you understand the causes of the disorder, listen and be able to recommend ways to reduce depression and anxiety, and a psychiatrist, if necessary, will select drug therapy depending on the severity of the condition.

Remember that the health and development of the child depends on the self-perception of a woman in the role of a mother. Therefore, it is so important to pay attention to your psychological state, to respond in time and adequately to the emotional signals given by your own psyche.

How to prevent emotional disorders after childbirth?

It is important to understand that any, even the most severe postpartum depression can be successfully treated. But, despite this, it is much more productive to apply some measures that help prevent emotional swings in the postpartum period.

• Prepare well for childbirth and motherhood. Choose a maternity hospital in advance, communicate with the medical staff, prepare for possible emergency situations in childbirth in order to reduce the stress associated with the birth of the baby itself and being in an unfamiliar environment in the maternity hospital. Try to get as much information as possible about caring for a newborn baby so that the adaptation to the new role is easier. It would be useful to attend special courses for expectant mothers.
• Properly plan the necessary serious affairs. For example, if you are planning to move, repair, it is better to do this in advance of the birth or postpone these events for several months after the birth of the baby, when you can already join the usual course.
• Find the one that suits you first pediatrician. A timely appeal to such a specialist will help a woman significantly reduce excitement and anxiety for her baby and prevent a decrease in her own self-esteem due to a sense of self-doubt as a mother.
• Enlist the support of your husband and other loved ones. In the first time after childbirth, you will need to recover and gain strength, so help will be very helpful, and it is better if you find assistants in advance and distribute responsibilities between them. This approach will protect you from unnecessary fuss in the postpartum period, help to avoid overwork and nervous tension.
• Find hobbies and interests that you can keep after giving birth. Favorite hobbies, communication with friends - all those activities that would not have to be abandoned after the birth of a baby will help to avoid the feeling of a collapsed world and social isolation.

After childbirth wowdepressionYu often confused with state postpartum blues(“maternal blues”), which is much more common, and almost always with the first child. Although the mother also feels anxiety about the child, sadness and sentimentality, she does not lose contact with the baby, as in the case of postpartum depression. Postpartum blues occurs in 50-80% of new mothers, and depression, only 10-20.

Postpartum depression is manifested, among other things, in sudden changes in mood. Why is this happening? It turns out they are to blame. In the postpartum period, oxytocin and prolactin are released. In addition, the level of sex, hormones fluctuates greatly. thyroid gland and adrenals. All this leads to variability of mood - capriciousness. It happens that a woman suddenly starts to cry, a after a moment, bursts into loud laughter.

Postpartum blues or depression?

How is postpartum depression different from the blues? The most common symptoms of postpartum depression include:

• sleep and appetite disorders;
• lack of joy from contact with the child and a sense of incongruity with the role of the mother, which do not disappear within a few days after childbirth.

In addition, symptoms of depression may appear even months after birth.

The reason for poor psychological well-being after pregnancy may be raging hormones. During childbirth, the mother has a high level, which drops significantly shortly after the birth of the child. Also decreasing. There is an increased release of a hormone that promotes the production of breast milk- prolactin. An improvement in emotional state can be expected about 10 days after birth, when hormonal balance is established.

Bad mood after childbirth may be postpartum depression

It is not unusual for a young mother to feel psychologically depressed after giving birth. Bad moods tend to pass quickly. Usually, but not always. Sometimes bad feeling lasts longer. When this happens, it is worth consulting with a specialist.

When should the "signal light" come on for this? - If the depressed mood does not disappear within two weeks, then you should contact a psychologist or psychiatrist.

How to avoid postpartum depression

• Do not try to lose weight suddenly. Decreased sugar levels cause a depressed mood.
• Make sure that there is someone in the house who, if necessary, when you feel worse, will take care of you and the child.
• Spend pleasant time with your partner. His behavior can be critical to your well-being.
• Spend your few spare minutes sleeping.
• If you are breastfeeding, download milk from time to time and ask someone else to feed your baby.
• If you feel that you cannot cope with your bad emotional state on your own, contact a specialist.

Causes of postpartum depression

Sometimes depression can occur much later, even a year after the birth of the child. It happens that a young mother still feels unattractive. At some point he admits that it is time for this to change. Meanwhile, low self-esteem persists, psychologists say. Problems with attractiveness rest on the need to change the way of life, which during this period is associated with a small child.

Having a baby turns a woman's life upside down. Not every mother can deal with this calmly and easily. Constant waking up at night, changing diapers, feeding, washing - this is only part of the duties of parents. To this is added constant supervision of the child and the fear that he will get sick with something. When all this piles up at the same time, a woman can fall into postpartum depression.

How to overcome postpartum depression

The main thing for a woman who gave birth to a child is the support of loved ones, especially the father of the baby.

Saving a partner is extremely important - psychologists emphasize. The role of a man, of course, cannot be limited to just whispering beautiful words in the ear of your beloved. He should complement the woman's childcare. Not all men remember this, and it happens that they leave their father's duties. The repertoire of excuses is unusually rich: headache, dizziness, busyness, fatigue, or simply lack of skills. The partner sometimes does not understand that in this way he greatly contributes to the depression of his soulmate. He should realize this.

Medications for the treatment of postpartum depression

Psychotropic drugs are definitely not recommended for breastfeeding mothers. Seriously harm the child can: pargyline, aspirin, anticancer drugs, radioactive and with narcotic components, and not even all vitamins. The basic principle - before taking any medication - it is absolutely always necessary to consult a doctor.

(If there is no strength to be a mother)

Fatigue is different

More recently, you dreamed that immediately after the birth of a baby, you would become the happiest mother. But for some reason, elated mood every minute is replaced by a depressed one. The desire to relax and sleep well remains the main dream. But more often you want to go through all the mirrors in the house so as not to see your reflection in them: how can you come to terms with what you see in them ?! Increasingly, the crying of a baby causes irritation instead of a desire to come up and find out what your baby is saying ... "I'm tired!" - that's what you want to shout to everyone entering the house. At the same time, note that such conditions after childbirth are more or less familiar to every woman ... regardless of the number of assistants, wealth in the house, and even the number of existing children.

What is behind these words of mom "I'm tired"

Our chief physician, Pechnikova Elena Yuryevna, suggests considering any mother's fatigue, primarily depending on the time frame for which it occurs. In the first month after childbirth, the basis of fatigue, or as its leading component, is often the physiological fatigue of the body, which has done a lot of hard work. During the first six months of a child's life, physiological fatigue gradually gives the leading role to psychological fatigue. But all the fatigue that persists after the second half of the year and beyond is based on psychological and psychosomatic factors.

What if, on the one hand, fatigue is inevitable, because they have not yet invented a way for a mother to carry a child for 9 months, then give birth to him, and at the same time her body does not work and does not waste its strength on it. On the other hand, for some, fatigue lasts longer and longer, while for others, by the second month of life, it may remain only a memory. So, after all, there is a way out.

Fatigue in the first months after childbirth

We help the body

So, what is the postpartum period and how to behave during this time? How to restore your strength, your appearance, and at the same time your emotional state? A specialist in postpartum recovery, Maria Evgenievna Bloch, says that usually there is an early postpartum period within 8-12 days after childbirth and a late one, lasting up to 6-8 weeks after childbirth. During this time, your body comes back to normal, restoring the functions of all organs and systems after pregnancy and childbirth. During pregnancy, your uterus was a reliable protection and a cozy home for your baby. For 9 months, of course, it has changed, the walls of the uterus have become thinner, it has increased several times. And after giving birth, she again needs to change, take on her original shape and size, for this the uterus contracts and at first painful contractions in the lower abdomen, the so-called “postpartum contractions”, can be felt, most often during feeding. At the same time, you can do a light stroking massage of the abdomen and rub the lower back.

Within 10 days, the cervix is ​​​​formed, then the uterine os is completely closed, the inner surface of the uterus is lined with new epithelium by the end of the postpartum period. While the recovery is in progress, the woman has vaginal discharge, during the first five days they are plentiful, similar to strong menstruation. Gradually, their character changes, the blood disappears, the amount decreases, and by the end of 5-6 weeks, the discharge completely stops. If a few days after the birth, the discharge suddenly stops, this is an occasion for immediate medical attention. Movement is a good preventive measure against blood stasis. If a woman does not lie, but walks, recovery is faster. However, the load should be increased gradually. To avoid complications, a woman should not lift weights. Doctors usually don't recommend lifting anything heavier than her baby. Hypothermia must be avoided.

In the maternity hospital, you will be strongly advised to visit a gynecologist 10-14 days after childbirth. This is necessary so that the doctor can track how well everything is going. Be sure to observe hygiene, take a daily shower, for the hygiene of the genital organs, you can use infusions of herbs of chamomile, succession, calendula. Herbal infusions are especially useful for women who have had tears during childbirth.

Put off until tomorrow what you can't do today

Sometimes our actions, seemingly done out of good intentions and read from smart books, can not only strengthen, but even lead to physical exhaustion and overstrain of the mother's body. Especially if mommy strives to do everything that is “supposed”.

First of all, we mean all kinds of rules for maintaining sterility. No one denies that a child needs cleanliness, but it is worth remembering that we are preparing a child for life in the real, and not in a sterile vacuum world. Sometimes “kind pediatricians” warn mothers: “Do not wash baby clothes in a common washing machine. No special for babies - wash by hand. Boil, iron and sterilize all the things of the child up to six months. Of course, if you forget about yourself, about the needs of your body, you can follow such advice, but it’s wiser to remember that a child lives in a family, in the real world and learns to live peacefully with numerous microbes and bacteria living in our house. Do not complicate this process for the child, but add a headache to yourself.

It is worth remembering that in the first month after childbirth, the satisfaction of physiological needs (sleep, food, toilet) of oneself and the child cannot be postponed, but everything else can be postponed. It is necessary and possible. In extreme cases, you can always find an assistant.

Marina, from her youth, got used to the fact that only a bath with a book and silence for a couple of hours can help her restore the forces spent during the week. With the birth of her daughter, the bath was only a dream. For the past three weeks after giving birth, Marina has been dreaming only about her, even sleep has become less attractive, irritability has grown. Well, don’t go to the bath with a cradle, so that if your daughter wakes up to be there, and what kind of relaxation in the bath if there is someone who needs attention nearby. A solution was found: Marina decided once a week to invite a nanny for three hours, and herself, having fed her daughter, at that time devoted herself to recuperation and her beloved rest with a book. Marvelous. But after such a rest, it seemed that strength was coming, and she was ready not to sleep at night, feed, walk and do everything that was necessary without tiredness and tears of fatigue.

Sleep is what the tired body of a woman who has recently given birth needs most of all. This requires a full, restful sleep. You tell me where to get it, when all life is subject to the feeding regimen. If you look closely, even in the most routine day of a young mother there is time for sleep, it is important that she herself allows herself to lie down for 2-3 hours during the day and 5-6 hours at night, without waking up. In order for the second to become a reality, you must allow yourself to sleep with the child. Believe me, even a very tired mother will not be able to harm a child sleeping next to her. But her calmness will increase: you don’t have to rush far in order to touch and thereby calm a child who is tossing and turning in a dream; no need to wake up in order to feed him, he himself will find a breast and satisfy his hunger; at the same time, it is worth remembering that for 9 months the child has become accustomed to hearing the beat of the mother’s heart and this calms him down, allows him to relax, which means sleep better and longer.

Don't create unnecessary problems for yourself

Anticipate? .... Many feeding recommendations say “during the first days, you may have to wake him up so that feeding continues every two to three hours. Watch the peculiarities of his sleep: if he is barely dozing, his eyes are constantly moving under his eyelids, his lips make light smacking sounds, he often moves his arms and legs - maybe he is already hungry, just does not have enough strength to wake up? Crying is the last signal of hunger and the most unequivocal and insistent demand to feed the little creature.” Can't agree with this, says family psychologist and support specialist breastfeeding Vshivkova Irina Vladimirovna: sleep is an important part of our life, and it is in sleep, and not during meals, that we restore our strength spent on some hard work. As a psychologist, I can say that small movements, smacking and stirring can only mean that your baby is having a corresponding dream. Look at your husband, I think he also, you can sometimes notice the same movements, but you won’t wake HIM at night to feed him. So give your child the opportunity to ask for food when he wants. Remember that every person, including a small one, has his own rhythm of nutrition, so you can try to catch it, it will be more useful than torturing yourself by watching a sleeping child, instead of resting while the child is resting.

And even about anticipating the desires of the baby: maybe this is good, but not always. It is worth remembering that a child after birth learns a lot, including managing his desires, giving signals that he wants to, and generally presenting himself to this world and, first of all, demonstrating himself. If you predict his desires all the time, he will stop producing his own signals about desires. And then the time will come when you will complain with indignation that your child does not know how to talk about his desires, does not know whether he wants to eat or wants something else. And this is the smallest trouble that can await you.

Feed at night? Many mothers often ask how to make sure that the child does not wake up at night, to the question “why is this necessary?”, Most often they answer that “they are tired of feeding at night, I want to sleep peacefully and in general they say that the child can sleep only if will sleep in a row for at least 5 hours, and preferably 8 hours at once. At the same time, I note that this question is asked by mothers of children different ages, The last one of those who asked him was still in the maternity hospital and before giving birth she was at least two weeks old. Often young mothers are frightened by night awakenings of the child, they say, they will want to sleep all the time. Therefore, mothers are looking for (often almost from birth) all kinds of ways to cancel night feedings. Although the cancellation of night feedings does not mean that the baby will stop waking up at night.

By the way, reality can turn out to be completely scary, and the child will not wake up as often as they were scared, and the mother will be well-rested even if the child wakes her up more than once during the night. It's all about how far or close the mother and child are from each other at night, how spatially and physically it is easy for the mother to feed the child at night, when she herself is sleepy and maybe not even completely awake. The most convenient option is when the child is at arm’s length from the mother: you can reach out with a sleepy hand and feel by touch what our child needs (touch, hug, feed, or it’s banal - it’s wet to sleep on) or even more convenient option when the child sleeps next to mother, then you can even feed, almost without waking up. With all of the above, in both of these options, the child feels the closeness of the mother and sleeps more peacefully, waking up only when it is necessary.

On the other hand, night feeding is the key to a calm, trouble-free daytime feeding. A mother and her child are a wonderful self-regulating system. While the baby has a need to suck in the morning, his mother produces the maximum amount of prolactin (it ensures the production of the right amount and at the right time of mother's milk) just from 3 to 8 in the morning. Prolactin is always present in female body in small amounts, its concentration in the blood increases significantly after the child begins to suckle the breast, most of all it is obtained precisely in the morning hours from 3 to 8 in the morning. Prolactin, which appeared in the morning, is engaged in the production of milk during the day. It turns out who sucks at night, stimulates his mother's prolactin and provides himself with a decent amount of milk during the day. And who can not suck at night, he can quickly be left without milk during the day. Incidentally, no mammal takes a nightly break from feeding its young. So, instead of asking whether or not to feed is better, ask yourself what is the most comfortable way to feed. Comfortable feeding is the key to the absence of fatigue.

For yourself or for two ...

The violation of two more important rules can increase the fatigue of the mother and interfere with the process of postpartum adaptation of the body.

1. Walk outside the house as often as possible. Mothers know that her child needs fresh air and needs to take the baby out for a walk every day. A tired mother often does not want to make unnecessary movements, she dreams of peace and the very idea that she needs to go for a walk, and if this is still in the cold season, it can even lead her to hysteria and an emotional breakdown. In fact, the baby can get the right portion of air on the balcony, but for mom, a walk is vital. Ask why? The thing is that the constant presence in the "four" walls, and the same environment is a powerful stimulant of emotional and sensory fatigue. Walks give mothers the opportunity to get a portion of new experiences, to please their eyes with the colors of nature, and finally, having met mothers with strollers, talk about their motherhood. All together will give an influx of new forces. This will also reduce the risk of fatigue.

2. Maternal nutrition can be another stressor. Very often, mothers are told that she should eat for two (after all, she feeds) and at the same time she is charged with eating a certain list of “healthy” foods more. It is rare to find a mommy for whom this list consists entirely of at least acceptable, not to mention desirable products. The process of food consumption in many families for a young mother turns into a real nightmare or just physical torment, and thoughts about a favorite product into an obsession. The thing is that the use of desired products increases the body's ability to restore strength and contributes to the production of endomorphins, which are responsible for our good mood, and the use of all the rest reduces it. In addition, it is important for the mother to DRINK a lot, and not EAT. All needed by the child the child will take substances and calories from those accumulated by the body during pregnancy, thereby helping to restore the figure (provided that the mother drinks enough fluids and consumes the right vitamins in an easily digestible form). It is also worth remembering that our body is a very smart thing, and if a mother wants to eat something, it means that she or her child needs it, while the body does not want a deliberately harmful one of them (we are not talking about mothers who want to get rid of from their children). And meeting the needs of the mother is the key to her endurance and good mood.

"Help" of the body

Very often, in situations where a young mother did not prepare for childbirth and parenthood, after returning from the hospital, she finds herself in a situation that is fully reflected by the words: I don’t know what to do? Confusion, uncertainty, conflicting advice from the environment, the desire of the mother to do everything well can lead first to fatigue and sharp overwork, and then to a stupor: It doesn’t work well, but I don’t want to bad!

The emotional state of such a mother is very unstable, mood swings and surges of strength and fatigue constantly replace each other. If at the same time there is still a great desire to be a good mother, then all together this can lead to the fact that the BODY wants to help the mother. Yes, her own body, itself, without asking if the woman agrees with his choice of solution.

Anna returned from the maternity hospital happy and with the hope that now all the hardest things are behind her. However, after a while, conditions arose more and more often when Anna didn’t know what to do, everything turned out wrong: it’s difficult to feed, it’s impossible to put to sleep at all, it’s impossible to bathe on time, the husband wants something at night, grandmothers vying with each other advise what start the morning, and then the housekeeper began to suggest how to put on the child's diapers. Increasingly, the head began to hurt, closer to the night, when the husband came to the bedroom, the lower abdomen began to hurt, and even several times some discharge began unplanned. Every day the body more and more often made itself felt with painful symptoms. But when everything hurt, Anna could lie quietly alone in the bedroom, and even a child rarely needed the attention of his mother. It all ended in the emergency gynecology department, where doctors were forced to clean due to incomprehensible formations and discharge. After the separation, during a conversation with our psychotherapist, Anna admitted that most of all at that time she wanted to become weak, so that everyone would take care of her and that all the problems of caring for the child would be solved somehow by themselves.

It does not happen that everything is solved by itself. It's just that our body feels that when it gets sick, the owner of the body feels surprisingly better and more comfortable. And then the body decides, since for some reason it’s better for the hostess when I get sick - I will get sick. So the body decides to help us get rid of our problems, i.e. tired - rest while you are sick. It is important to remember that if there is an increase in cases of any morbid conditions, the mother should consult two specialists: a physician in the profile of the problem and a family psychologist. During the discovered fears and experiences of a young mother, they will help to quickly cope with a difficult period and enjoy motherhood without undue fatigue.

I thought that everything would be wrong

During the period of expectation of a child, the mother draws pictures of future motherhood for herself: what the child will be like, how the birth will go, what kind of mother she will be, what relatives will do when she returns home with the baby. However, life does not always match reality. The more non-coincidences, the greater the chances of a state of dissatisfaction, uncertainty and, as a result, increased fatigue.

Usually, those mothers who are preparing for childbirth and parenthood in courses have the opportunity to adjust their expectations closer to realistically possible in time, I can learn to cope with difficulties that arise without unnecessary stress and overwork.

Sometimes childbirth does not go quite the way the woman expected (the husband was not present, although they were preparing together, she wanted to give birth vertically, but it turned out due to circumstances - like everyone else, etc.). Moreover, if a pregnant woman was psychologically unprepared for the turn of events, a feeling of dissatisfaction with herself may arise. If the mother and the baby are not staying together in the maternity hospital, there may be anxiety and fear for the child, how he sleeps, how he feels, who and what is with him. And of course, the significance of pregnancy and the child itself for a woman. If a woman is not ready for motherhood, does not represent herself as a mother, and the child is just proof of her independence, significance, or something else to those around her and herself, then without outwardly admitting, a woman after childbirth may experience irritability, fatigue, guilt. At the same time, there is simply no one to talk to, because everyone expects directly opposite feelings, and negative emotions accumulate that interfere with both mother and child. Being in such a depressed state, the mother becomes unpleasant to herself and begins to notice that this reflects badly on the child. Depression becomes a barrier between you and the baby, disrupts contact and mutual understanding.

Oksana was expecting a baby in a wonderful mood, everything was going great, and she imagined: how she would start giving birth, the doctor would come, take a beautiful pink baby, how she would put his breasts on and he would immediately begin to suck. She imagined that she would look at her baby with a smile while he satisfies his hunger, and then put him in a beautiful bed and next to her husband would discuss the past day. I imagined how both grandmothers would dream of sitting with the child while his mother was resting ... From the first matchmaking, everything started wrong. It turned out that giving birth was more painful than she imagined, and the doctor divided his attention between her and two more women, and the child turned out to be not pink at all, but somehow blue and he could immediately take the breast, the doctor explained that the nipple is very uncomfortable. Oksana was crying more and more often: why didn’t anyone tell her about this before, why is her husband at work all the time, and after work he wants to sleep, the mother-in-law goes to theaters and friends, answering - this is your child, he’ll grow up, I’ll be with to take to the theatres. Breastfeeding turned into a continuous torment: at first the child did not want to take the breast, and then for hours he could not tear himself away from it. With the start of feeding, Oksana dreamed of putting the baby to bed, but he did not want to lie there either. Tears during the day, tears at night, and all alone, alone ... In fact, Oksana's relatives provided a lot of help, but it was not the help that she imagined, and therefore, it was psychologically difficult for her to accept it.

Therefore, it is very important, dreaming about motherhood and parenthood, to learn as much as possible about how it really happens, about how best to resolve domestic and psychological difficulties in the first months after childbirth. It is very important to plan the time correctly - this will allow the mother to take care of the child, her husband and herself. She must believe in her own strength: any mother, in the end, copes with her own child, especially since civilization currently provides her with ready-made clothes for the child, a refrigerator for household needs, a washing machine, various dairy products, a juicer, which free up more time. And all this should be used.

Learning to live in a new way

In the first days after returning to the family, the mother and child need rest; all kinds of visits, even with good intentions, are not recommended to be taken within 4-5 days. Mother and child are not yet accustomed to the new schedule of the day, which is different from the one they had in the maternity hospital. The mother now has new responsibilities, she is not confident in herself and is very sensitive to all kinds of criticism, which deeply upsets her. If on the first day of arrival at the family she is disturbed by incessant visits, it is not surprising that the new family member begins to vomit food, cries and needs a continuous change of diapers. Most young parents are not confident in their abilities; like all newcomers, they are afraid of appearing incompetent and often get angry at any criticism of them.

The first month after the birth of a child can be considered the most difficult in a mother's life. In addition to the patronage nurse and the father of the child, someone else's help is needed; fatigue and overload in the postpartum period cause bad consequences for the condition of the child and his mother. Young parents should know that grandmothers, thanks to their love for children, will take care of the child better than the most conscientious nurse. Many grandmothers remember their own mistakes, inexperience, and do not interfere; others feel superior, conscious of their experience, well-formed principles, adore their grandchildren, cannot refrain from expressing and even imposing their opinion. A pediatrician and a health visitor help parents manage their relationship with their grandmothers by carefully examining their differing points of view. Any disagreement should be discussed openly, without any unpleasant comments and judgmental silence. Your doctor or health visitor can then arbitrate for you if there are differences in care.

Fatigue in the second half

In the second half of the year, continued fatigue, low mood background of the mother, irritability and changes in emotional states indicate the development of a depressive state and chronic overwork of the body.

If the child is healthy

In those situations where the child was born healthy, this condition can occur due to three reasons:

1. A woman defines herself as follows: “I don’t know anything and I don’t know how, but more and more is required of me,” while she either has no one to ask or she does not find the strength and opportunity to ask for help and advice.

2. The daily routine and self-requirements were chosen so high that it is difficult for several people to cope with them, and not just for one mom.

3. Trite, but life in a closed space sooner or later always leads to a depressive background and increased fatigue.

Despite the fact that the reasons may be different, the way out is always the same: take care of yourself, remember your own needs and joys, give up unnecessary security and hygiene moments, and finally, just go out into society. Even if it is a child-parent society, the effect will still be significant and noticeable.

Alexandra recently became a mother. The baby was already 7 months old, and the young mother still experienced headaches, fatigue, slight malaise and frequent mood swings - everything that can usually accompany the first months after childbirth. The family doctor announced that everything was in order. Like, it should be so, a consequence of childbirth, sleepless nights, constant stress. The only recipe is to relax. But how to relax when a child requires daily care and attention. Grandmother came to the rescue. She began to take the baby to her dacha on weekends, and her husband gave his wife a subscription to the Young Moms Club. Fitness, classes with a psychologist and joint tea parties, where you could talk and get support, and after the meeting, go shopping together and at least look at the updates, and sometimes buy yourself a nice change. All this together returned the joy of life to Alexandra, in the morning she wanted her daughter to wake up faster and be able to finally work with her, try out the new games that she learned at the club, do exercises with her daughter (the daughter will also have weight for exercises with the load and the viewer, which is also important).

If the child is not well

In those situations when, for some reason, the child was born not quite healthy, the mother noticeably increases worries of anxieties. Here it is important to organize the daily routine on time and correctly, to distribute the help of relatives and friends. If the child's illness is serious enough or requires special rules for care and upbringing, then most likely there are organized parental support groups and early intervention centers somewhere nearby. The latter specifically work with parents and children throughout the first year of life. Sometimes a visit to such a center can completely change the pessimistic forecasts of tough doctors from the maternity hospital, and the fact that there the mother will be taught to properly distribute attention, without forgetting about herself, is for sure.

What to do if, nevertheless, fatigue turned into depression?

We all know that prevention is much easier than cure. Of course, hormonal changes no one will cancel in your body, but you can try to solve your psychological problems. Moreover, the sooner you do this, the better it will be for you and your child. In advance, better even before pregnancy, during its planning, determine what the baby will change in your life, why do you need a child, prepare for childbirth and meeting with the baby - this will be the prevention of postpartum depression. If, for some reason, depression still arose? Of course, each case is deeply individual, but still there are some general rules which should be adhered to.

1. Accept this state as already existing. Of course, there is nothing good and pleasant in it, but everything that we experience is a reality that has its own causes, course and ending, do not take this state as your fault.

2. Be sure to ask for help. Do not keep all the experiences in yourself, share with loved ones, relatives, girlfriend, with those people who can provide support. If among close people you do not find such a person, contact a psychologist or psychotherapist, he will help you cope not only with depression, but also to find out the cause of its occurrence, to establish relationships in the family and with the baby. There is always a club for young parents somewhere nearby, usually you can come there with or without a child. And many come with children, starting from one month old: why deprive yourself of the joy of communication and mutual support.

3. Rest more, walk, sleep, do not refuse any help. Do not forget about good nutrition, even if your appetite is disturbed, because your physical health now greatly affects your emotional well-being. The basis of good nutrition includes not only healthy and varied products, but also compliance with the regimen. At malnutrition we gain extra pounds and suffer from constant fatigue. You can also prepare yourself infusions of soothing herbs, especially in case of sleep disturbance (valerian root, motherwort herb, etc.). Go visit, make yourself a gift, say something good to yourself. It is the raising of the general physical and emotional tone that will help the mother herself and cope with depression as quickly as possible.

4. You can help yourself by using simple relaxation techniques: choose the time when your baby sleeps most soundly and for a long time, take a comfortable position, turn on quiet pleasant music or sounds of nature. Close your eyes and say a few phrases of general relaxation, then imagine yourself under a waterfall and say “I am standing under a waterfall. They wash me and relieve fatigue, tension, irritation. I feel myself becoming strong and calm.” Imagine your body as water washes over it, washing away tension from your face, arms, legs. Breathe evenly and deeply. “Breathing in, I take the best from the air. With every breath, my body fills with calmness, strength and freedom.” Give yourself time to enjoy the images. You can imagine yourself at sea, on the banks of a river. In general, all "water" images give strength, filling you with the energy of freshness and freedom. After a while, mentally say, “My body has rested. Heaviness leaves the body. I am full of energy, strength and calm.” Take a deep breath, stretch and open your eyes. Try to do these exercises more often and your health will be much better.

5. And yet, now, when you need time for yourself, to restore your own strength, let your child be with those who love him more often, who are ready to give him warmth. All the same, for the baby you are the most beloved, the best mother in the world, even if for some time someone will love him a little more.

Pechnikova E.Yu. obstetrician-gynecologist, director of the Family + center
Bloch M.E. specialist in postpartum recovery, head of the club "I'm growing up"

Most women after childbirth note sharp mood swings, when any little thing brings tenderness, but any carelessly spoken word can cause a stream of tears - this is postpartum depression. Many are terribly afraid for the life of the child, no matter how the doctors assure that everything is in order with him. Common infantile ailments like jaundice or hormonal skin rashes cause long tears and sleepless nights, and fatigue. Other mothers, on the contrary, feel strangely indifferent and take care of the baby only out of duty, while feeling guilty towards the child for not being able to love him at first sight. Still others feel a burning jealousy that they have never experienced before.

Postpartum depression begins with intense, almost unbearable anxiety. Tension and anxiety are so strong that a protective mechanism of the psyche comes to “help” - depression! Surprisingly, what many are so afraid of is the protection of the psyche from "burnout". Depression makes emotions dull and fears lessen. Some muffledness, slowness of movements and reactions, a feeling of heaviness comes to the place of anxiety. Sometimes there are "breakthroughs" of irritability, protest, stormy sobs. And most importantly, being depressed, a woman cannot experience pleasure either from communicating with a child, or from food, or from gifts, or from sexual life. At best, something can cause a mean smile in her, but she is not able to laugh contagiously.

As silly as it may seem, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Niches of emotions are fastened by hormones, and the hormonal background returns to normal only a few months after childbirth. Sometimes (about 2 in 3,000 births) these hormonal mood swings are so severe that they require drug therapy. The rest of the mothers need 20 drops of valerian before bedtime.

Why does postpartum depression occur? Childbirth itself does not cause depression - it is provoked by stress factors. The more of them, the more likely the disease (and depression is precisely the disease). Here are the most basic ones:

• poor family support;
• severe course of pregnancy and childbirth;
• congenital disease The child has;
• low socioeconomic status.

How to deal with depression?

To help yourself get through this difficult postpartum period as quickly as possible and nullify negative emotions, several steps can be taken.

• Try to be attractive. It is important for a woman to like herself in the mirror. Of course, after giving birth, there is desperately not enough time for this, but you need to allocate at least 10-15 minutes a day for a minimum of the usual procedures. Get yourself a trendy but easy-to-style haircut, and then you can not spend a lot of time making your hair look beautiful. Buy comfortable, but fashionable clothes for the house and walks with your child.
• Learn to understand the child. You need to get used to responding to crying calmly. In the vast majority of cases, crying does not mean any illness. At the moment when the child began to cry, you should think about what he wants. The basic needs of this age are food, closeness to the mother and new sensations, the need to change the diaper.
• Communicate more with your child. Talk to your baby as much as possible, even if he is only a few days old. Constantly talking, "cooing" with the child, you yourself calm down and bring your nervous system into balance. And the benefits of such communication for the development of the child's emotional system, his intellect and speech can hardly be overestimated.
• Let them help you. Do not refuse help in the first time after childbirth. Even if we are talking about a person with whom you do not have a very good relationship. You can always ask to do something homework or walk with a sleeping baby while you can at least get some rest.
• Take your husband as an ally. It’s not easy for both of you right now: you are getting used to the new roles of dad and mom for yourself. Until you figure out how to do it the "right" way. But each family has its own correctness, although it is not developed so soon. Talk to each other as much as possible. Talk about what you think is important. Remember that the husband, most likely, sincerely does not understand how exactly such young children are cared for. The more specific your request for help, the more likely it will be well fulfilled.
• Lack of communication - no! One of the problems of young mothers is a sharp decrease in the social circle: "child - husband - child - child - child." In order to reduce the lack of communication, try to get acquainted on the street with mothers with strollers just like you. You will have many interesting topics for a conversation. Often women remain friends for many years. And don't forget the Internet. This is a wonderful opportunity to communicate at a convenient time for you with people who are in the same life situation. Discussing problems, you will understand that you are not alone in your experiences, and mutual support will give strength. You can meet new people, and when you find out that someone lives nearby, make real friends!
• A rose petal bath will also help you, which will not only relieve stress, fatigue, depression, but also tones, giving joy and tenderness!

The trouble is that in the vast majority of women, fatigue, self-doubt, and (worst of all) family crises are added to the action of hormones. In such situations, depression can drag on and poison the happiness of motherhood for a long time. It is difficult to give recipes here, if the household gathered at the child's crib understands what unites them, about the family that they created and do not want to lose, then it will be possible to find a solution to many problems together.

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