How to teach a baby not to eat at night. How and when to wean a child from night feedings

Lyudmila Sergeevna Sokolova

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Article last updated: 05/25/2019

There is no consensus on this issue. Unfortunately, medicine is not an exact science, its conclusions are often corrected by life itself. Man is an extremely complex system, and each individual differs significantly from the average statistical norm. This fully applies to children of the first year of life. After the appearance of the baby in the house, a troublesome restless time begins. And although these are pleasant chores, nevertheless, mom, like any person, needs rest and good sleep. Therefore, she is worried about the question - when will the child begin to sleep all night? Can he be taught to do this? How to teach a baby to sleep through the night? And when should the learning process begin?

How long do newborns sleep at night without a break?

Children are different and they sleep, respectively, in different ways, and from the first days. Some lucky ones gave birth to babies who sleep peacefully for 5-6 hours at night and give their mother a rest, other babies mixed up day and night and “pull” mom every hour. In this regard, it is conditionally possible to distinguish 4 groups of children:

1. The child sleeps steadily almost all night.
2. The baby wakes up 1-2 times a night for feeding.
3. The child wakes up several times during the night.
4. The little one hardly sleeps at night.

• Group I includes children who sleep most of the night almost from the first days of their birth. Some pediatricians recommend waking the baby for feedings or feeding him when he is sleepy. Others believe that nothing needs to be done, the stomach little man rests at night, as he should. And that's okay. Here questions about when he will sleep most of the night and how to accustom him to this are solved by themselves. This group is not the most common.
• Group II includes children who wake up 1-2 times a night to suck on their mother's milk. This is due to the fact that the stomach of a newborn, like a kitten, is very small, and milk is absorbed quickly. In addition, many children need not only and not so much food as contact with their mother and satisfaction of the sucking reflex.
• To III group carry children with a pronounced Moro reflex. These babies wake up not only to suck milk or snuggle up to their mother. A loud, harsh sound or flash can scare a baby. Their fright is expressed in a rather strong start, throwing up their arms and unclenching their hands. It wakes up some babies. In this case, he should not be taught to sleep, but to prolong sleep. To do this, the mother can swaddle the newborn at night.
• And the last, IV group, are children who do not allow their mother to rest almost all night. Usually newborns sleep 5-6 hours consistently, but these babies don't get it that way. Owl baby doesn't sleep different reasons. The first three months it can be colic, then teeth start to cut, etc. It is the parents of such crumbs who are very interested in the question of what to do and how to teach the baby to sleep all night.

When can I stop night feedings?

The child may wake up several times a night from 0 to 1.5 years. In rare cases, this lasts until reaching the 3-year milestone. And this will not be considered a deviation.

However, it is still necessary to instill in the baby the skills of night sleep. This will make life easier for him in the future when he goes to kindergarten, then to school, etc.

You should start by determining the cause of the formation of incorrect associations of the baby with sleep and eliminating it, as such. In some cases, this is very easy to do:

1. If the baby is hungry, does not finish eating at each feeding - you need to feed him a little more;
2. If it is hot or stuffy, it is easier to dress and ventilate the room;
3. If the child is tormented by gases - give the carminatives recommended by the pediatrician and spread it on the tummy for a longer period of time;
4. If a neurological abnormality is suspected, the pediatrician will send you for a consultation with a neurologist.

If the cause is eliminated, and the baby continues to show “owl” habits, this means that wrong stereotypes have formed and they will have to be changed.

In general, it is possible to reduce night feedings with the start of the introduction of complementary foods with "adult" food, replacing one of the night feedings with water. Perhaps the child wakes up out of habit and he is not hungry at all - in this case, there will be enough water.

The age of 9 months is considered the limit, upon reaching which you can begin to wean the child from night feeding. When breastfeeding, doctors recommend continuing to feed the baby at night until the age of one.

This does not mean that the child has become independent and simply refuses to eat at night when he reaches the specified age. Children cannot stand hunger. The baby can do without food only when it is mentally and physically ready for this.

How to instill in your child the skills of a full night's sleep?

By following a number of rules, you can teach your baby to sleep all night.

How calmly a child sleeps depends largely on the psychological atmosphere in the family. If parents show care, warmth, give affection to the baby, then, as a rule, no special efforts are required to improve sleep. The child, upon reaching 9-12 months, sleeps peacefully all night.

What to do if the child still asks for food at night:

1. Follow the daily routine;
2. Feed the baby at bedtime in sufficient quantities so that he is not tormented by hunger and sleeps well and for a long time;
3. Distribute most of the amount of food calculated for a day for daytime and evening;
4. Gradually reduce the portion of milk or mixture at night, replacing them with water, juice, baby tea (give a drink if the baby starts to whimper);
5. To teach the child to fall asleep on his own (without a bottle), rocking him to a half-asleep state in his arms, and when he begins to fall asleep, transfer him to the crib.

Little tricks

People have different biorhythms. It may turn out that a particular baby will indeed eventually fit a nocturnal lifestyle, i.e. he will be a typical "owl".

But most often in the "owl" behavior of the crumbs, if his behavior is not caused by malaise, the parents themselves are to blame, namely their inexperience. Often this behavior of the crumbs is promoted by the mother, who tries to redo all household chores and rejoices when the child sleeps a lot during the day, or the father who came home late from work, who decided to cuddle his beloved first-born and give him a new toy before bed. All these moments lead to overexcitation of the sensitive nervous system baby and reduce the quality of his night's sleep.

The next thing to avoid is falling asleep while feeding. Of course, it’s convenient for a tired mom if the baby falls asleep while sucking on a nipple or a bottle - you don’t need to rock him, sing songs, carry him in your arms. You can just put it on the bed. However, over time, this convenience will turn into difficulties. If the child wakes up for some reason, it will be problematic to put him to bed without food.

That is why the regime is very important. A regimen is such a "beast" that, for all its benefits, is not popular with most adults either. How to teach a newborn to this if the parents themselves do not want to follow the daily routine? And yet, it should be done.

If the child is breastfed and pediatricians advise feeding "on demand" - how can this be combined with the concept of "daily routine"? There is no trick in this case.

• First, the mode is not only feeding. This is the time of sleep, games, bathing;
• Secondly, if the child eats fully, the mother gives him enough time for communication, games, sits with him, holds him in his arms, then he will not demand breasts endlessly. The baby will have enough mother's attention and he will calmly withstand the time between feedings. The daily routine will be established in a natural way, it will be close to the regimen established for artificially fed children.

How to get your baby to sleep at night

11 rules on how not to make an “owl” out of your child and teach you how to sleep well at night. For this you need:

1. The maximum possible time to devote to the daily game with him;
2. Do not close the curtains during the day, even if the baby is sleeping;
3. Do not play active games with him at night;
4. Do not give new toys before bed (this overloads the nervous system);
5. Bathe the child in warm water of 36.6-37 degrees for newborns when it is warm at home (in summer and winter, during the heating period) and up to 38 degrees - if it is cool at home (as a rule, this is in spring and autumn, when the heating is turned off);
6. If the baby is not allergic to herbs, you can add chamomile and string to the bath;
7. When the baby begins to fall asleep, you can sing your favorite lullaby to him. Such a ritual will form an instinct and make it easier to fall asleep, help to lay the child without a bottle;
8. If the baby is hyperactive or suffers from the Moro reflex, it can be swaddled up to 3 months;
9. Comfortable conditions in terms of temperature and humidity also contribute to restful sleep;
10. If the baby's gums are very sore and itchy when teething, you can use special gels or homeopathic drops;
11. For colic and bloating, use carminatives, give dill water or special tea.

Swaddling is a controversial issue, some experts do not advise swaddling children at all. But, nevertheless, if the baby's sleep quality is low due to a strong and violent reaction to physical stimuli (light, sound), swaddling is allowed. This will prevent him from waking up due to startle and allow him to get used to longer sleep.

In the first months of his life, the child mostly sleeps, waking up only to eat. Newly made mothers are mentally prepared for the fact that they will have to get up at night. However, it often happens that a child, having overcome, still does not allow parents to get enough sleep and requires attention several times a night. How to teach a child to sleep through the night? First of all, I would like to note that you will not solve such a question at a time. Will have to be patient.

It's best to start from the very beginning early age. Very often we hear such an expression as "the child mixed up day and night." This phrase means that the baby sleeps soundly during the day and is awake at night. This situation is typical for children in the first and second month of life. Parents often wonder "how to teach a newborn to sleep at night." The thing is that the baby does not care what time of day it is. Such concepts as night and day do not yet exist for him. In such a situation, you can advise the following. During the day, even if the child is sleeping, do not create perfect silence. Let there be light in the room. The sound of the TV or your conversations will not interfere with the child. At night, on the contrary, it should be dark and quiet. Thus, the newborn will learn to distinguish the times of day.

It may also happen that your treasure has already learned to sit, the first tooth is about to appear, and you are still forced to get up to him several times a night. How to teach a baby to sleep at night?

Children at this age do not sleep as deeply as adults. In addition, they need to eat much more often. First of all, you can advise joint sleep. Next to the mother, the baby feels protected and sleeps more soundly, therefore, wakes up less often. Try to adjust the diet, he should go to bed full, then the likelihood that he will wake up soon is small.

For many parents, the question of how to teach a child to sleep through the night remains painful for a long time. There are a number of standard tips that help a lot of people. Try to walk before going to bed and be sure to ventilate the room in which the child sleeps. Do not arrange active games in the evening. Set them aside for the morning or afternoon. A bath is a wonderful relaxing remedy. You can add various herbs to the water, this will help the baby calm down and tune in to sleep. After the bath, feed him and put him to bed. If your child likes to listen to fairy tales or lullabies, be sure to perform them for him.

Such simple tips about how to teach a child to sleep through the night, often help parents. But keep in mind that all children are different, and what suits one may not necessarily suit another. What to do if, despite all your efforts, the baby wakes up and screams at night? Be sure to check that the baby is not sick, that he has a clean diaper, and he is not hungry. Only after that can we say with certainty that he is just being capricious. Do not approach him at the first call. Try to ignore. Usually already on the third or fourth night, the child learns to fall asleep on his own.

How to teach a child to sleep through the night? Everyone chooses their own method. The main thing that everyone will need without exception -

Sooner or later, parents begin to think about how to teach a baby to sleep all night ... Many pediatricians, like the well-known Komarovsky, recommend ...

Lack of sleep in parenting is normal, because baby care continues around the clock. And although this fact is humbly accepted by parents as a given, sooner or later they begin to think about how to teach a baby to sleep through the night.

The child fell asleep in the carrier - mom is exhausted on the couch

All the kids wake up

The sleep of a child, like an adult, consists of several alternating phases. So, in the first 1.5 hours, the baby sleeps soundly, without being distracted even by extraneous sounds and light. This is the so-called deep sleep, when the activity of the body is maximally reduced. After this phase, the baby can toss and turn, make sucking movements, but this is not a reason to run to calm him down. Soon he will move on to the next phase (REM sleep), in which the processes in the body are activated, and the baby sees vivid dreams.

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Each transition to a new phase is accompanied by a short awakening. During the night, both adults and children can wake up about seven times. Only some babies will sleep again, while others will wake up and call their parents.

The whimpers and sobs of a sleeping baby at night are considered normal by doctors and they call this phenomenon “physiological night crying.

How to stop night feedings

What causes a baby to wake up in the middle of the night? First of all, children are awakened by the feeling of hunger. Newborn babies eat every 2 or 3 hours, and night is no exception. By three months, a night break without food can last 4-5 hours, and by six months - up to 6-8 hours. But by itself, a six-month-old baby is unlikely to stop eating at night. Parents will have to make an effort to wean him from such “snacks”. How?

• Many pediatricians, like the well-known Komarovsky, recommend feeding the baby tightly at night so that he sleeps longer. A good rule, but do not get carried away, because. overeating can have a bad effect on sleep and the general condition of the child.
• It is better to gradually increase the intervals between nightly meals. For example, every few days for 15-30 minutes. As soon as the baby wakes up, do not rush to immediately offer him food. Try giving him a pacifier or some water.
• Another way involves a gradual reduction in the amount of food. For example, if you are formula feeding, you can remove 10-20 ml every week; in infants, the meal time is reduced by 1 minute. When you get to the 3-4 minute feed, it can be completely removed.
• In some cases, it is more convenient to use the late feeding method. Towards the end of the evening, or when it's time for you to sleep, wake the baby up for one last feed. So a well-fed toddler will sleep much longer at the same time as his parents.

Some mothers give compote instead of water. But this is fundamentally the wrong decision. Sweet drinks at night not only cause fermentation in the tummy, but also have a bad effect on the teeth.

Correct Associations

To get your baby to sleep as early as possible at night, avoid falling asleep with a bottle or breastfeed. Of course, this does not apply to newborns. But already from 2 months, finish feeding before the child falls asleep.

Only then will he not associate sleep with food. Come up with other, more convenient and harmless rituals. For example, gentle stroking on the back, songs, reading books.

Many children like to sleep with their favorite toy. You can hold it a little before going to bed, pressing it to yourself. Waking up at night, the baby will feel her mother's smell from her and will not cry.

Don't forget to change the scenery! Subdued light at night, unhurried calm speech of parents will help even newborns to understand that it's time to sleep. So you will avoid situations when the baby "confuses day and night."

At hours daytime sleep it is better to teach the child to sleep in complete silence, otherwise he will shudder at any sound at night.

Harmful rituals

People say that you need to raise a child even when it is placed across the crib. It is hard to imagine that such a young creature is capable of manipulating adults, but sometimes parents themselves, without noticing it, instill such habits in the baby, for which they themselves then pay at night.

Put yourself in the place of a child. Falling asleep on his mother's shoulder under motion sickness and the sweet smell of milk, he wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold bed without a mother, where it smells different and completely lonely.

And so he calls his parents to restore "justice" and return everything as it was. He is rocked again, lullabies are sung, pressed to his chest ... Having received the usual, the little one quickly falls asleep. But the situation repeats itself again and again, because the baby quickly realizes that his crying will not go unnoticed by caring parents.

To avoid such problems, it is better to immediately accustom the little one to fall asleep on its own. At the same time, the situation before going to bed should be the same as it will be at night. Then, when the baby wakes up, he will not worry that everything has changed, and will feel safe.

10 rules from pediatricians

The quality and duration of children's sleep directly depends on the parents, the famous doctor Komarovsky is sure. He suggests following a number of simple rules that will help not only the child, but also the rest of the household to sleep well.

If the child protests

It is worth accustoming the baby to falling asleep on its own, removing night feedings only when you are sure that nothing bothers the baby. Up to 3 months, babies often wake up colic. From the age of 5 months, teething begins, the baby's ears may become inflamed, the neck may hurt.

If you still decide that the time has come, be consistent and convincing. Children very subtly feel the insecurity and doubts of their parents and quickly understand how to manipulate their attention.

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Hearing how a neighbor's boy, who is at least younger than your child, but has not been waking up his mother at night for a long time, do not rush to conclusions. You can't lump all kids under the same brush. Someone is ready to sleep without food even at 2 months, it’s easy for someone to give up snacks by six months, and there are such “lovers” of milk who need food even a year. Your task is not to stop night feedings, but to instill healthy habits in your child - to teach them to fall asleep on their own, observe sleep patterns, and actively spend the day.

Do not be afraid if sometimes the child has to cry, or even scream, protesting against the new rules. Deciding that now there will be no motion sickness, dancing, and other distracting "manoeuvres", be persistent.

Whatever methods and methods you use, they should not cause inconvenience to your family. If you sleep well with a baby in your bed, and don’t even remember how many times your one-year-old baby breastfed, you shouldn’t change something because of some norms and rules. The time will come, your child will grow up and everything will change.

And most importantly, remember that you are not alone. According to scientific data, problems with children's sleep occur in every sixth family, and yet there are no ready-made recipes for accustoming a baby to sleep soundly at night. Love your child and do what your intuition tells you to do!

When did your kids stop waking up at night? Share your secrets in the comments!

Waking up occasionally at night is considered absolutely normal for any person. And it's completely normal if your child also wakes up at night from time to time. Children's somnologists agree that how quickly a baby falls asleep after a nighttime awakening will directly depend on his habits. Experts believe that, waking up in the middle of the night, the child "checks" the situation - whether everything around has remained the same as before he fell asleep. If he fell asleep while someone was next to him, or he fell asleep in the process of breastfeeding, then, upon waking up and finding that the situation has changed, he will be anxious and will not be able to sleep for a long time. In this article, we will try to figure out how to teach a child not to wake up at night.

If the baby cannot sleep at night, often cries and wakes up, think about whether this is due to any wrong habits that affect his sleep. Below is a list of these habits:

The baby sleeps exclusively in physical close contact with mom and dad.

. The child woke up because he had lost his pacifier and could not find it on his own.

. The baby sleeps only during the process of sucking the bottle and breastfeeding.

If you notice at least one of the above habits in your child, this may be the reason for frequent nighttime awakenings. It is necessary to wean him from them in the early stages, until more serious sleep disorders occur.

Before you start teaching your baby to sleep in his crib at night, learn to hear by ear whether your baby has woken up or is still sleeping. Indeed, many parents immediately grab the child in their arms and begin to calm him down, although the baby has not even really woken up yet. Perhaps if you had not taken him so soon in your arms, he would have continued to sleep quietly and peacefully. During these nocturnal awakenings, try to gradually reduce your lullaby time. If you paint this process in stages, you can highlight such moments after the baby woke up:

How to teach a child not to wake up at night - the first stage

To rock the baby, do the usual actions for him and for you. Before he falls asleep, carefully place him back in his crib. If he cries again, rock him again. Repeat these steps until the baby falls asleep in his own crib. However, if you lack patience, do not be upset or nervous, let the baby fall asleep the way he is used to. And you will try again the next night.

How to teach a child not to wake up at night - stage two

If the first stage was successful, you can safely proceed to the second stage: do not take the baby in your arms when he wakes up. Talk to him quietly and rock him in your bed. If the baby does not fall asleep after numerous repetitions of this procedure, return to the first stage.

How to teach a child not to wake up at night - stage three

During the next lulling, try not to touch the baby. Talk to him quietly, accustom him to a kind of “signal words”, under which he will learn to fall asleep. If the baby is naughty, return to the previous step.

How to teach a child not to wake up at night - stage four

If all three stages are completed successfully, during his next awakening, try to calm him down from a distance, for example, being at the door of a children's room.

How to teach your child to sleep soundly through the night

Why do children wake up at night

The first step to solving any problem is to find out its causes. Therefore, in order to understand why your baby does not sleep well, you need to know some patterns of children's sleep.

Studying the process of sleep in the laboratory using electroencephalographs, scientists have found that sleep is not a homogeneous process, but consists of various phases alternating in a certain sequence.

The first four phases are different stages of the so-called slow, or deep, sleep with reduced body activity. After falling asleep, they replace one another for 2-3 hours, and you probably noticed for yourself that it is at this time that the child sleeps the best. Neither light nor noise interferes with him, he does not even wake up if he is swaddled or carefully transferred, for example, from a stroller to a crib. This is the time when tired parents can finally relax and breathe a sigh of relief. If an hour and a half after falling asleep, the baby starts tossing and turning in the crib, muttering something, making sucking movements, etc. - this is not a cause for concern. Usually this happens in a dream, at moments of incomplete awakening from slow sleep, and then the baby sleeps peacefully on.

After 2-3 hours, slow-wave sleep is replaced by the so-called REM sleep, or REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. It is called so because during it eyeballs move quickly from side to side. With the transition to REM sleep, the electroencephalogram of a sleeping person becomes the same as that of an awakened person, his breathing and heart rate increase, temperature and pressure increase. It is at this time that your baby sees the most vivid and emotional dreams.

It is easy to wake a person during REM sleep. This is a protective function of the body at night, allowing a person, even in a dream, to perceive danger signals: a suspicious noise, a smell of burning, goit, etc., and in case of need, immediately wake up. And just at the time of the onset of this phase of sleep in a baby, his parents usually begin to prepare for a night's rest and make more noise than usual: they wash in the shower, brush their teeth with an electric brush, or look into the room where the child sleeps. If he wakes up, then the parents are often annoyed, because just recently he was sleeping so soundly that it was impossible to wake him up. (One young couple even complained in our conversations that their baby “seems to deliberately wait until the parents lie down comfortably in order to immediately get them back on their feet.” Poor baby! No, people learn such things much later!)

Don't worry if you wake your baby up during REM sleep, he would wake up on his own after REM sleep. Because a short awakening after each phase of REM sleep before moving to slow sleep is a physiological pattern that is characteristic of both children and adults. And there is a similar change of phases up to seven times a night!

This means that absolutely all children wake up up to seven times every night. Only some immediately fall asleep again, while others begin to cry, calling for help from their parents.

Why do babies cry when they wake up at night and how to avoid it

Why does it depend, you ask. Why does one child, waking up at night, fall asleep on his own, while another cannot do this without the help of his parents?

As I wrote in the previous chapter, the phases of sensitive REM sleep with a short awakening at the end are a kind of body security system that allows you to check whether everything is in order around you, whether you can continue to sleep peacefully. Small child, waking up at night, checks, for example, if he is cold, if he is hungry, if it hurts somewhere, etc.

If the child is being tormented intestinal colic(usually up to 4-5 months) or teething(as a rule, from 5-6 months), then at this time they will interfere with his restful sleep.

Incipient disease also often disturbs children's sleep. A restless night may precede, for example, a cold or intestinal infection. Symptoms of many diseases appear for the first time just during a night's rest.

Frequent nocturnal awakenings may also be reaction to vaccination. Not yet developed the immune system the baby is in a state of anxiety, the body throws all its strength into the fight against the intruder. And if at the time of vaccination the immune system was already busy fighting the beginning infection (still invisible to parents), now it has to fight on two fronts. She is overwhelmed with a new task, and the baby may develop symptoms of an incipient disease, which will also deprive him of a night's rest.

Maybe a child dreamed something terrible. Indeed, at night, children “recycle” the events of the day, which can be expressed in frightening dreams. If this happens occasionally and the baby quickly calms down and falls asleep when you appear, then there is no cause for concern. Regular nightmares can be the result of childhood problems and fears, which will be discussed in a separate chapter.

If your presence does not calm the baby and he does not even seem to notice you, then this may be a sign of the so-called night fright - a condition associated with incomplete awakening from a night's sleep (we will also talk about it in more detail in the chapter "Children's fears and disorders sleep for other reasons.")

And the child, waking up at night, checks whether everything around is the way it was when he fell asleep.

And what does it turn out? He fell asleep on his mother's warm, fragrant shoulder, and wakes up in a cold, completely different-smelling bed. Or he dozed off to the soothing rocking of the carriage, and now everything is still. Maybe he fell asleep, sucking on his mother's breast, a pacifier or a usual bottle of juice, but now they are gone ... And without them, the baby is not used to falling asleep. This means that it is urgent to “restore justice”, and the baby cries loudly with all its infantile strength, calling for help. His desperate cry cannot leave indifferent loving parents, and they, with difficulty tearing their eyes, give the baby something that helps him fall asleep. That is, they are again rocked, carried around the room, bring a bottle, sing songs, etc.

Having received the usual, the child quickly falls asleep again. But not for long: each new awakening ends with a new attempt to "restore justice." Moreover, the baby has already noticed that it is worth crying a little, and he will get everything he wants!

Tired parents are ready to do anything, if only the baby fell asleep as soon as possible. There is literally no limit to their fantasies. In addition to the most common methods of soothing, such as breastfeeding, pacifier, bottle, carrying, motion sickness in a wheelchair, etc., many use non-traditional methods. So, one father drove the baby for 20 minutes in the car, so that when he falls asleep, carefully transfer him to the crib. Many parents turn on music, but there are also those who start, say, a vacuum cleaner or a washing machine, because they have noticed that a steady noise has a calming effect on the baby. A common way of laying is the presence of one of the parents in the baby's room until he falls asleep. Many stroke the child, sing songs to him, or simply hold his hand. But one mother even climbed into the crib so that the baby felt her closeness. When the bed became small, this mother lay down next to her on the floor (fortunately the bed was very low), resting her head on a baby pillow. Some babies love to twirl their mom's hair, tickle her nose, or do something similar when they fall asleep. Often parents take a crying baby to their bed or, if the baby already knows how to get out of his crib, he climbs into his parents' bed himself.

No matter how convenient all these methods of momentary calming the child, they have one general disadvantage: the baby gets used to them and cannot fall asleep in a different way. Of course, if your baby, having fallen asleep in this way, sleeps peacefully all night, it makes no sense for you to change something. But usually a child who falls asleep only with the help of his parents needs it, both during the day and in the evening, going to bed, and at night. For parents, this means a reusable night rise. In other words: having solved the problem at the moment, they create a lot of difficulties for themselves in the future.

To avoid them, there is only one way out: your child must learn to fall asleep on their own in their own crib. If he learns to fall asleep alone during the day and in the evening, he can easily do it at night. In addition, studies conducted by the German doctors Kast-Zahn and Morgenroth (Annette Kast-Zahn, Dr. med. Hartmut Morgenroth, "Jedes Kind kann schlafen lernen") showed that children who fall asleep on their own in their crib usually sleep at night on a whole hour longer!

Chest, stroller, motion sickness in the arms - all this is good for calming the baby during the day. He must fall asleep in the evening in an atmosphere that will remain unchanged all night, so that when he wakes up he feels: everything is fine, everything is as it was when I fell asleep. For example, a pacifier can become a help only at the moment when the child learns to find it at night by himself. One mother even came up with the idea of ​​putting several nipples in the crib to make it easier for the baby to find one or in case the nipple falls on the floor. Many more children like to fall asleep with a soft toy in their hand. It is also easy to find in the dark, waking up.

And yet, the main condition for a child’s peaceful night’s sleep is the ability to fall asleep on their own, without the help of their parents. Every healthy child can learn this, and in just a few days. How to help him with this will be discussed in the chapter "How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own."

Of course, your baby will not immediately agree to give up pleasant and comfortable habits for him. But the efforts made will justify themselves, because the calm night sleep most important for the baby. In addition, children are happy when parents are calm, and parents are calm when they get enough sleep at night ...

From the very birth of Anyuta, her mother calmed her down by putting her to her chest. That's how the girl fell asleep every time. In the first weeks, it was quite comfortable - the baby quickly calmed down and practically did not cry. In addition, she quickly fell asleep and slept for quite a long time. Then the problems started. Not knowing whether her daughter was crying from hunger or for another reason, Anya's mother put her to her chest even when she was not at all hungry. As a result, my daughter began to vomit frequently. Now Anyuta's mother understands that the small ventricle was unable to cope with a large amount of milk. Then she thought that maybe the girl was sick. And some "experienced" advisers even tried to convince her that babies vomit when they are malnourished ... Funny? Anya's mother at that moment was not laughing, and not knowing what to do, she was ready to follow any advice. Due to constant vomiting, the baby's ventricle was empty, and she again wanted to eat. I had to feed her every 2 hours, so half the day was spent on feeding alone. At night, my mother also had to get up every 2 hours. At 5 months old, when Anechka switched to formula milk and vegetable puree, the problem with vomiting has disappeared. But the baby still fell asleep only in her mother's arms. The result - frequent night awakenings and long (for an hour, or even longer) evening wear on the hands.

Constant fatigue and the beginning of health problems forced Anya's mother to finally change the situation. Using the Ferber method (which will be discussed later), she taught her daughter to fall asleep on her own, and the nights became calm on their own. In addition, the baby now cried less, worked on herself more often, and her mother had precious evening time for rest and relaxation.

Three-year-old Pavlik used to fall asleep only in the presence of his mother. She sang to him, held his hand, stroked his cheek. Waking up at night, Pavlik also demanded his mother's presence, and the procedure for laying down was repeated. The farther, the longer it took the baby to fall asleep. If in the first 10-15 minutes the mother “lulled” the baby with judgment, then the fatigue accumulated during the day made itself felt, and tenderness was replaced by impatience. When she tried to tell the child that he should sleep alone, he loudly protested, climbed out of the crib, pulled his mother by the hand, and her loving heart again gave up.

So it was until Pavlik stayed with his grandmother for several days. In the evening, putting the baby to bed and hearing his plaintive request: “Stay with me!”, The grandmother said in a tone that did not allow objections: “No, dear! You are a big boy, you are already 3 years old. At this age, all children fall asleep on their own. Besides, I don't have much time right now. But I promise you that as soon as I finish my business, I will once again come to your room to wish you good night. With these words, the grandmother kissed Pavlik on the cheek and resolutely left the room. "Leave the door open!" he asked. “Fine, but only if you lie quietly in the crib,” Grandma said. When, after 15 minutes, she quietly approached the door to the baby's room, a peaceful, even sniffing could be heard from there ... That night the baby never woke up!

Teach your baby to fall asleep on their own in their own crib, and your nights will become restful on their own!

What to do if a child, waking up at night, cannot fall asleep for a long time

Many parents overestimate their child's need for sleep. And when the baby suddenly wakes up at night and cannot fall asleep for a long time (longer than an hour), when he wants to play in the middle of the night or requires the attention of his parents in some other form, they are often at a loss.

It's actually very simple - your baby sleeps too much in total. Compare the total duration of his sleep with the data in the table (chapter "When and how much children sleep, or Some statistics"), and you will most likely be convinced of this. And since the baby’s sleep is not optimally distributed throughout the day, he ends up sleeping just at the moment when it is least convenient for you - in the middle of the night. He is simply disturbed, the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness is shifted, which is very easy to change.

Now it remains only to distribute the hours of sleep of the child at a time convenient for you. For example, if he sleeps twice during the day, then, most likely, one is enough for him now, then the night's sleep will become more calm. The only, but too long daytime sleep should be “shortened”, that is, wake the baby earlier. Or, if it's more convenient for you, you can wake him up earlier in the morning. Another possibility is to put the baby to bed later in the evening. Whichever option you choose, one thing is important - so that the time spent by the child in the crib, in the amount, does not exceed the baby's need for sleep calculated by you.

And the consistency in your actions is also important, because in order to get used to the new regimen, the baby needs time (usually no more than a week). Of course, it is a pity to wake up a peacefully sleeping baby, especially in the morning, when parents still want to sleep. But just be patient for a week, and you will no longer need to wake the baby - he will wake up on his own at the allotted time. Well, for parents, getting up earlier in the morning is still more pleasant than “walking” in the middle of the night, right?

Igor, 2 years old, slept for about one hour during the day. Around 8 pm he easily fell asleep again, but woke up an hour later, and it was impossible to put him to bed until midnight. At midnight, he finally fell asleep on the sofa in the living room, and the parents carried the sleeping boy to the crib. In the morning Igor was not to be woken up, he regularly slept until 10 o'clock! The boy was clearly out of order. He compensated for the lack of daytime sleep in the evening, and the night's rest began for Igor only at midnight.

To restore the disturbed routine, it was necessary to teach the child to sleep longer during the day and go to bed earlier in the evening. In total, the boy slept for 12 hours. This means that daytime sleep had to be extended to 2 hours, and the beginning of the usual ten-hour night rest should be moved to an earlier time. To do this, the parents first of all stopped putting their son to bed at 8 pm. Despite the whims and fatigue, he had to go to bed only at midnight in the first days, as before. In the morning, Igor's parents woke him up at the usual time - at 10 o'clock. The tired boy “filled up” the missing evening hour of sleep now at lunchtime (his daytime sleep itself increased to 2 hours). It only remained to gradually move Igor's night sleep to an earlier time. To do this, his parents put him to bed every day 20 minutes earlier, and after 10 days the boy fell asleep at 9 pm and slept peacefully until 7 am!

Little Olezhka spent 12 hours at night in his bed (from 8 pm to 8 am). During the day he slept for about 3 hours. Everything would be fine, but around midnight the boy woke up and could not fall asleep for a long time. For a while he lay quietly, talking to himself and playing with his hands, then he began to call his mother, wanted to drink, asked to be held, etc. Only after three hours the baby fell asleep again.

Calculating that Olezhka sleeps for a total of about 12 hours, the parents decided to reduce the time he spends in the crib to this figure. To do this, they began to wake the boy in the afternoon after two hours of sleep, put him to bed an hour later in the evening and wake him up an hour earlier in the morning. In the first days, Oleg, out of habit, woke up at night, but fell asleep much faster than usual. Soon the lack of sleep made itself felt, and the baby began to sleep soundly all night ...

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

If your baby can't fall asleep for a long time at night, then you overestimate his need for sleep! The time spent by the baby in the crib should correspond to his real need for sleep at the moment.

What else is important for a restful sleep of a child

In addition to correctly assessing a child's need for sleep and avoiding unfavorable sleep rituals, it is important for a child to have a restful sleep. general state, the situation in the family, as well as how his day and time goes before bedtime, and how parents react to the awakening of the child at night.

1. It's no secret that calm, happy children sleep better. A child is calm and happy first of all when he feels parental care and love. This is the most important prerequisite for his physical and mental health. The time given to the baby in the first years of his life will pay off a hundredfold in the future. And not even so much the time devoted to caring for a child as those precious moments in which you give him all your attention and all your love - play and talk with him, sing to him, rock him in your arms with love or just attentively, with admiration watching your amazing baby.

2. Very important from the very beginning a lot talk to the child. Especially in the first months of his life, when he still does not see much around, the voice and touch of his parents constitute perhaps the only contact of the baby with the outside world. Therefore, it is worth taking care that this voice is gentle, and touches and hugs are gentle. Still not understanding the meaning of your words, the baby will clearly catch their intonation. Feeling loved and desired, he will be able to more easily adapt to this new world for him. He will grow calm and sleep well.

3. Talking to your child is important not only for his mental, but also for his mental and linguistic development. Everything that the baby hears is deposited in his subconscious and will serve him well when he begins to speak. Therefore, it is recommended not to lisp with the baby, but to speak separately and clearly, using ordinary words and sentences. Cassettes with fairy tales or music will also help the language development of the baby. Of course, he will consciously listen to them later, but included as a quiet background, they will eventually do their job. The subconscious perception of a language is especially important if you want to teach a child several languages ​​​​at the same time from childhood.

4. Children begin to understand the meaning of your words much earlier than they learn to speak. Therefore, try to explain as much as possible to the baby in everyday life, comment on what you are doing, and call a spade a spade. For example: “Mom is cooking soup now. Look here: she takes carrots for soup. And this is a potato, it also needs to be cut. Or: “Now mom will put Olenka in a stroller, and we will go for a walk. We'll take a walk in the park, and then we'll go to the store for milk. Mommy needs milk to cook porridge for Olenka.

5. All children are unusually sensitive and feel without words. not only the attitude of parents to themselves, but also their condition. Therefore, if you sometimes have a hard time, do not rip it off on the baby. Better talk to him, explain that mommy is tired, so she is sometimes impatient, but she always, always loves her baby. Even if the child does not yet know how to speak, he will understand you with his heart. Well, if sometimes this doesn’t work out, it’s better to step aside and calm down before approaching the baby again. He would rather cry for a couple of minutes alone than witness your angry outburst. Take a deep breath, drink some water or a cup of coffee, eat a piece of chocolate - and with renewed vigor to the baby. When you return, explain to him that mom really needed to go away, but now she is here again and loves her baby very, very much.

6. In addition to your condition, children also feel very situation in the family. Friendly, harmonious relationships between all family members, and especially between the parents of the baby, are one of the most important prerequisites for his happiness, and, consequently, sound sleep. Quarrels, stress or depressive states parents affect the baby, depriving him of sleep and rest. Even if the parents do not quarrel in front of the child, do not raise their voices, or in some other way do not show their problems, even the tiniest baby intuitively feels their condition and reacts to it.

Therefore, parents will help the baby a lot by thinking about themselves.

7. Find time for rest and for each other.

Remember that you are not only parents, but also husband and wife. Maybe there will be a grandmother or someone else who will look after the baby so that you can go somewhere together and just relax, like in the old days. You will see - you will return home with a completely different feeling, it will become easier to look at everyday worries, and life will suddenly seem more beautiful to you. You will help yourself and your child at the same time. What could be better?

8. Will greatly help baby's night sleep also walks in the open air. Especially walks in nature, in the forest, on the lake - a real balm for the baby. And for a young mother, this is also an opportunity to relax and recharge. Listen to the singing of birds and the business buzz of bees, watch some nondescript beech or admire the beauty of flowers, and you will immediately feel how strength and vigor return to you. In winter, it can be the crunch of snow underfoot or the reflections of the cold winter sun in hoarfrost on tree branches. Even in big city you can find quiet, secluded streets or courtyards, with trees or shrubs that will amaze you with their beauty. Listen to the silence around you and feel the silence within you. Forget for a while about all the cases, you still have time to redo them. These minutes are only for you and your baby, and they are now the most important in your life!

9. In order for the baby to sleep well, it also plays an important role familiar environment. For example, at a party, at grandma's, on vacation and in any other new situation for the baby, he may feel insecure and sleep worse. The same thing can happen if, for some reason, he is put to sleep in one or the other room (for example, when dad is on a business trip, mom moves the crib to her bedroom).

10. A child can also wake up, processing in a dream some events and impressions that frightened or excited him during the day. It can be new faces or a new environment, a huge dog seen on the street or an unexpected noise that frightened the baby. In this case, the child is usually easy to soothe with kind words and closeness. Having got rid of the unpleasant vision in a dream, he will quickly fall asleep again.

11. When the baby grows up and begins to walk, they greatly contribute to his restful sleep. active day and movement. Play ball with him, catch up and hide and seek, roll him on his back or, holding the baby by the arms, let him climb up to your chest. Let older children run on the playground, ride down the hill, play with peers, ride a bike. Take your child on a visit, take a boat ride, just take a walk around the city or even go to a museum (for a while, any child will be calm, because he is curious about everything he sees around). You will see - when the day is full of impressions, children get tired and sleep better during the day. But do not overdo it - the active phases should not last too long and be replaced by rest and rest, otherwise the child will get overexcited, and then, on the contrary, he will sleep restlessly.

12. For young children, the environment of daytime feedings is important - it should be exciting, not soporific (bright light, laughter, conversations with the child), so that feeding is not associated for the baby with falling asleep. In the first weeks of life, many babies fall asleep on the breast or when fed from a bottle, but then they need to be gradually weaned from this.

13. Older children cannot be taught to play in a crib, it should be associated for them only with sleep. Put the baby better in the arena or just on the floor, spreading a thick blanket.

14. For good night it is very important for kids that they have at night warm and that they don't sweat.Therefore, children's pajamas must be made of pure cotton, and the blanket must correspond to the temperature in the children's room. Some time after the baby falls asleep, gently touch his back to determine if he is sweating, and his hands to find out if the baby is cold.

15. When a child sleeps during the day, no need to whisper and walk on tiptoe. If he gets used to sleeping in silence, he will wake up at night from any rustle. Small children sleep well during the day with normal household noise, and for you this is an opportunity, while the baby is sleeping, to lead ordinary life: talking on the phone, listening to music, watching TV, or just doing housework.

16. In the evening, many children, including older ones, fall asleep more readily if they hear their parents in the next room. The quiet sounds of conversation and the feeling of closeness of parents soothe the little ones and give them the opportunity to plunge into the world of dreams without fear.

17. To help your child sleep better at night, you can try reduce daytime sleep. For example, if the baby sleeps twice during the day, then it may be more appropriate to switch to just one “quiet hour”. (To make this transition easier for the child, at first you can lay him alternately one or two times a day.) And if he sleeps only once during the day and he is already 2.5 years old, then you can even try avoid daytime "quiet time" at all. Many children, having stopped sleeping during the day, begin to sleep more peacefully at night. What is more important for you - a daytime break or a good night - you have to judge for yourself.

18. Of course, the refusal of daytime sleep will require additional efforts from you at first: children who have stopped sleeping during the day are very tired by the end of it, begin to whine and act up. But if you hold out for a couple of hours, the child will instantly fall asleep in the evening, and you will not need to put him down for a long time, even if he was accustomed to this before. You will have a calm evening, and the child’s night rest will lengthen.

19. Just do not think that it will lengthen by the number of hours that the child slept during the day - this most likely will not happen. Kast-Zan and Morgenroth state in their book that even in this case, the baby will not sleep for more than 10 hours at night. My experience and the experience of the parents I interviewed shows that a child's nighttime sleep may well increase to 11 or even 12 hours. So, my daughter, who used to sleep 10 hours at night and 3 hours during the day, after giving up daytime sleep, at first slept only 10 hours at night (restructuring of the body). Then fatigue made itself felt, and my daughter's night sleep increased to 12 hours! Sometimes, on especially busy days, she still fell asleep during the day, but not in her bed, but, for example, on the sofa next to me.

20. For a restful night's sleep, a baby is very important for a clear mode. Always put your child to bed at the same time, then his “internal clock” will tune in to sleep at the right time.

21. If a child begins to toss and turn or sob at night, then don't run to him right away It's quite possible that he's just dreaming about something. If he does wake up, give him a couple of minutes to try to fall asleep on his own.

22. Before putting the baby to bed in the evening, make sure he's full. A hungry child will not sleep for long. If you are feeding your baby with milk formulas, buy a formula that is more satisfying for the evening. Or make the semolina thicker than usual.

For infants, there is even a special late feeding method when it is advised to wake the baby for feeding late in the evening at the same time, it is best before the parents go to bed. Having got used, the baby will be hungry by this time and will wake up on his own, but then he will sleep a significant part of the night with his parents. In some cases, this method works quite well.

23. But there are children who are difficult to wake up at the right time or who refuse to eat by the clock. Some babies, once woken up, are difficult to put back to bed. Rely on your inner voice - you can better than anyone else evaluate whether such a method is suitable for your child. Although, as they say, trying is not torture, you can always try. The main thing is not to forget that to test the effectiveness of any method, you need to use it for at least several days in a row.

24. Late evening feeding is the only exception when it makes sense to wake the baby at night. In all other cases don't wake up your child at night because you thereby disrupt the course of his biological clock.

25. In the first months of his life, a rare baby can do without night feedings. But, feeding and swaddling your baby at night, try to make him understand the difference between night and day now. Silence and subdued light will help the baby fall asleep faster again. At night, it is better not to talk to the baby and after feeding and swaddling, immediately put him in your crib. Getting a maximum of mother's attention during the day and a minimum at night, he will quickly understand the difference between active and calm times of the day.

26. Having reached the age of two months, the baby should gradually learn to sleep longer and longer after a hearty evening feeding. For this, some doctors recommend gradually increase the time between the last evening and first night feedings. If you want to try this method, then do not feed the baby as soon as he wakes up at night. Try to delay the next feeding by calming the baby in other ways. (In this case, as an exception, all methods of calming are allowed, except for a bottle and a breast.) If your baby has not fallen asleep during this time, you should give him some water or tea first. And only at the end he will receive the usual milk formula or breast. With consistent application, this method may well lead to success. Just make sure that the nightly soothing methods and the water bottle do not turn into unfavorable sleep rituals over time. And if the baby after a few days or a maximum of a week did not start sleeping longer, then it is worth postponing the use of this method for a month or two.

27. And it is also very important not to forget that your state, especially your confidence or insecurity in something, is immediately transferred to the baby. Therefore, if you are sure that the application of the method will succeed, then it will!

28. Starting from six months (according to some doctors - from one year old) age, any healthy child is able to go at night without food or drink. To wean him from them, you can use the above method, gradually stretching the time between night feedings. You can, on the advice of other doctors, gradually reduce the amount of milk (or water, if the child is used to drinking at night) given to the baby at night. If you are still breastfeeding, then you need to gradually reduce the duration of night feedings accordingly. Just do not overdo it, give your baby time to get used to the new situation. Doctors advise reducing the amount of milk in the bottle by 10-20 milliliters every 1-2 days, and the duration of breastfeeding by 1 minute per day. Feeding the baby for less than 3 minutes is not worth it, then it is better to abandon this nighttime feeding altogether and calm the baby in another way, for example, using the Dr. Ferber method, which will be discussed in the chapter "How to teach a child to fall asleep on their own." In the same way, supporters of the above method advise to calm the baby if he starts crying after drinking a reduced amount of milk or water. Of course, in this case, you will need a lot of effort to bring the application of this method to the end. 29. Whether the game is worth the candle is up to you. But my good advice to you is that before you start using any methods at night, teach your baby to fall asleep on his own in the evening. In most cases, night problems are solved after that by themselves.

Six-year-old Kolenka woke up every morning in a wet bed. Although his parents never openly quarreled in front of the child, he felt the tension in the family and suffered from it. Two weeks after his parents divorced, the boy stopped wetting the bed.

Two-year-old Julia is used to sleeping in absolute silence. When the baby fell asleep, everyone in the house walked on tiptoe, afraid to wake her. If suddenly something fell on the floor in the kitchen, someone coughed loudly, or a truck rumbled past the window, the girl woke up frightened and cried. Once Yulia's neighbors started a renovation. The whole day behind the wall they drilled, knocked, made noise. Much to the surprise of her parents, Yulenka quickly got used to the constant noise and slept well without reacting to it.

Dima was 3 years old when his parents went south with him. Until that time, the boy fell asleep perfectly in his bed and slept peacefully at night. At the resort, it was impossible to put him down in the evening. Unaccustomed bed, new environment and many impressions did not allow the boy to fall asleep. In the morning, Dima woke up at the usual time (to which his “internal clock” was set), so he was tired and naughty all day. Returning home, the boy, with visible relief, climbed into his bed and immediately fell asleep.

Volodya was a very calm and gifted boy since childhood. He always slept well, learned to read before other children, was an excellent student at school, and surprised his parents beyond his age with mature thoughts. Parents claimed that their upbringing system was not special. But during the conversation, it turned out that from the very beginning, the mother talked a lot with the baby, explaining to him things that he, it would seem, were not yet able to understand. For example, turning on the vacuum cleaner, she told Volodya that it was powered by an electric motor. She explained to the boy that current flows through the wires, that the earth is spherical, that a house is built on a foundation, and that the flour from which bread is baked is ground wheat grains. But the most important thing that the child learned from her words is that he is loved by his mother and important to her. And one more thing - that the world is full of interesting, fascinating things, which Volodya always began to love to learn and discover!

TIP OF THE DAY ____________________

The main thing a baby needs to grow up calm and happy is your love! Rejoice in him, talk to him. Time given from the heart to a child is the biggest and most important gift for his entire subsequent life.

mom and baby

Well, there are many ways to help a baby fall asleep. But why, you ask, does one baby need help with this, while the other seems to be calm from birth, sleeping peacefully or, waking up, lying calmly in his crib?

To understand the phenomenon of calm children, look at their mothers. Ask them about how the pregnancy went, their attitude to life, relationship with a partner, etc. You will find that calm children almost always have calm mothers!!! Because nothing affects the physical, mental and emotional development of a baby as much as the state of a person who bears it under the heart, breastfeeds and cares for the baby day and night! The energy of the mother, her health and mental state, her joys and sorrows, worries and fears are transferred to the child and either give him peace and confidence, or deprive him of them.

Therefore, if you want your baby to be calm, take care of yourself first!

1. Already during maternal pregnancy a tiny creature hears, feels and perceives everything that happens around him. Everything that happens in the mother's body is directly transmitted to the baby through the umbilical cord. Her mental state reaches crumbs as if on invisible waves and fills her with joy or fear, calmness or nervous tension. If a pregnant woman gets enough sleep, walks a lot, eats well and - most importantly - enjoys life and upcoming motherhood, then the chances that the baby will be born calm are much greater than if she eats poorly, gets tired, nervous and quarrels with her husband. Thus, scientists from the Center for Research on Child and Adolescent Health at the University of Bristol (UK) found that prolonged depression mothers during pregnancy, as well as in the first months after childbirth, entails in 50% of cases violations in the development and behavior of babies!

2. Fatally affects the health of the child as well smoking pregnant or lactating woman. The weight of newborns whose mothers smoked during pregnancy, as a rule, is less than the weight of other babies. Slowdowns or deviations in their development are observed twice as often, and often persist for life. Even the placenta, in which the baby grows and develops, in heavy smokers is usually not red, but dirty gray ...

3. Do not underestimate the danger passive smoking. If you cannot quit smoking completely, then at least do not smoke in the apartment or in the room where the baby is. Ventilate the children's room at least twice a day. Fresh air – an important condition for a calm, long-term children's sleep!

4. About favorable influence complete, vitamin-containing nutrition pregnant and lactating women on the development of the baby a lot is written and said. More than one scientific study is devoted to this topic. For example, scientists from the University of Groningen (Netherlands) found that Maternal nutrition during pregnancy has a stronger effect on the physical and mental development of the child than its nutrition in the first months of life. For the development of the motor apparatus and motor skills, omega-3 fatty acids, which are contained primarily in fatty fish, are especially important. But trans-fatty acids from industrially manufactured foods, fast food and sweets, on the contrary, slow down the development of the fetus and even, as researchers at Harvard University (USA) have established, in some cases prevent pregnancy. If the participation of these fats in the diet is at least 2%, then the risk of infertility doubles! You are what you eat, says folk wisdom, and, apparently, there is some truth in it.

5. Very important for a new mother as well fresh air and movement. Walking in nature, prenatal gymnastics, yoga, water aerobics or postpartum exercises will help you stay in shape and have a positive effect on the health of your baby. He will grow more calm and sleep better.

6. If you feel that your strength is running out, then you urgently need to find an opportunity to refuel. This is the most important and urgent matter of all planned for today. Set aside everything else. Try to relax and think about what could please you now.

7. Turn on your favorite music. Dance.

8. Go to a neighbor or friend. Meet other moms.(When I ran out of strength, I often went to visit a neighbor - a mother of 6 children, who always surprised me with her calmness. Her children did something, and she calmly drank coffee with me in the kitchen. These meetings always charged me with calmness and energy. )

9. Talk about your problems and fears to her husband (unless, of course, he is ready to listen and understand you). If not, call a friend, mom or someone else who will listen, regret, give good advice. It is very important not to wear fatigue and tension in yourself. And the feeling that you are understood often brings relief.

10. If your baby does not go to a nursery or a kindergarten, then maybe he can be left for a while with his grandmother or with a friend. Well, if there is no such possibility, then take at least a few hours babysitter. And try use this time not to run to the store or finish things (you can’t redo all the cases anyway). Do something just for myself, for relaxation and pleasure. After all, to gain strength, let me remind you, is the most important thing for tired parents, because their condition is immediately transferred to the child.

11. Or spend it time with your husband just like when you first met. To keep your love, you just need to always remember that you are not only parents, but most importantly - a loving husband and wife. You need time for each other, for conversation, tenderness and affection.

12. Find at least once a day time do something unrelated to motherhood. Go in for sports, watch your favorite movie, read a book - any activity or hobby that gives you pleasure and is not related to the child will help restore lost energy.

13. go somewhere for a few days or at least a few hours. If you have no one to leave your baby with, then take him with you. A change of scenery alone can often work wonders!

14. Pay attention to which meetings with acquaintances fill you with joy and improve your mood, and after which meetings you feel tired or restless. Try to avoid people who take your energy away.(you and your baby need it now).

15. Learn relax while you are walking with your child, doing homework, driving to work, etc. Think of something pleasant, pay attention to the beauty around you, nature, your favorite details in your home environment, gentle sunbeams ...

16. Refuse for a couple of years from the idea of ​​sterile cleanliness in the house. (You can place the vacuum cleaner near front door and tell guests, “I was just about to vacuum.”) To feel comfortable, keep in complete cleanliness 1-2 rooms, in which the child does not have access (for example, a bedroom). In the same place where the baby is usually located, try to create a safe environment that requires the least maintenance, cleaning and nerves (tires on outlets, furniture that is easy to wipe, no breakable or valuable items, nothing that can crumble or spill, etc.). ).

17. Cook your favorite meal so you don't feel like you're cooking and "functioning" just for others.

18. And in general: do not forget that, in addition to the child and the family, there is also YOU ​​- a charming woman, an amazing personality, with your own interests, desires and needs!

Yurina's mother was a so-called cleaner. Everything in the apartment had to sparkle and be in order. Since the boy began to crawl, scatter toys, etc., my mother was constantly in suspense, no matter how he got something dirty, spilled or spilled ... In addition, Yurochka was a very active boy, and his mother rarely managed to bring any or work to the end. After a few nervous breakdowns she decided it was time for a change. She fenced off half of the room with a partition, removing from there everything that Yura could drop, break or spill. Yurin's mother secured the lower doors of Yurin's lockers with special latches so that the boy could not open them. She rearranged the books on the upper shelves, and removed the vases, lamps, and crockery. In the partitioned off half of the room, Mom placed all of Yuria's toys, which he could scatter there as he pleased. There, in the corner, she laid a blanket and two small pillows on the floor. In this corner, the kid loved to bask with his teddy bear.

Yura was allowed to take only one or two toys into the free part of the room. When he began to pull out the drawers there, open the doors or climb in where it was not necessary, the mother put the boy in a fenced off part of the room. So she could calmly finish the work she had begun, protecting the rest of the apartment from chaos, and Yura had at his disposal a whole half a room to lay out the toys in his “order”.

Two-year-old Christina slept very badly at night. She shuddered, woke up in a fright, screaming, then for a long time she could not fall asleep. During the day, the girl was also nervous and restless. Kristina's mother was just as nervous (this is logical!) She had absolutely no time for herself and for relaxation. The baby's father worked late and also could not support his wife.