Rules for communicating with children with disabilities psychology. Features of communication with a child with a disability

It is not uncommon to feel a little uncomfortable when communicating or interacting with those who have physical, sensory or mental disabilities. Communication with people from handicapped should not be different from any other interaction, but if you are not familiar with a particular type of disability, you may be afraid to say something offensive or do something wrong when offering help.

Steps

Part 1

Understanding the right interactions

Understand that disability is universal. The idea that most people are "normal" and some are not is incorrect. Think about friends or family members who have disabilities. Perhaps they have arthritis or other physical limitations and are unable to walk stairs. Perhaps they have hearing problems, or they are on a special diabetic diet, or they have to wear glasses due to visual impairment. Disability or incapacity of a different kind is something that we all will face personally, sooner or later. Thus, we will all have times when we need a little help and understanding.

Not all disabled people are easy to spot. For example, you probably won't know that someone is deaf, has diabetes, or has a speech impediment if you just look at the person. Don't think that the person you're talking to is "normal" just because of their appearance.
Never assume that someone can have a disability. Someone may not look good, but it may not have anything to do with disability.

Realize that most people with disabilities have adapted to them. Some are handicapped from birth, others become disabled later in life as a result of an accident or illness, but one way or another, most people have learned to adapt and take care of themselves. Most of them in ordinary life lives quite independently, but it requires a little help from others. They may feel insulted or annoyed if you suggest that they are unable to do certain things, or if you are constantly trying to do things for them. Assume that the person can complete any task on their own as long as they don't ask you for help directly.
- A person who has been disabled by an accident may need more help later in life than someone who lives with a disability from birth. But you should always wait until you are asked for help.
- Do not be afraid to ask for help from a disabled person for fear that he is not able to do it. If it's something that isn't difficult and you're sure he can handle it, you shouldn't treat him any differently.
Put yourself in his place. How do you want others to treat you? Talk to the person with a disability as if you were someone else. Greet him if he is new to your class or workplace. Never look at him condescendingly or patronizingly. Don't focus on disability. It doesn't matter what his problem is. It is important to treat him as an equal, talk to him and act as you usually do if a new person appears in your environment.

Do not be afraid to ask what the person is sick with. If you feel that this can help you defuse the situation (for example, asking the person if they would rather ride the elevator with you than take the stairs if you see that they have mobility problems), it is wise to ask questions. Most likely, he has answered this question a million times and knows how to explain it in a few sentences. If the disability is the result of an accident, or if the person finds the information too personal, they are likely to respond that they prefer not to discuss it.
- Make sure your questions are not out of pure curiosity, but useful and educational.
- Assuming you know the answer to your question can be offensive; better to ask than to guess.
Remember that age and disability should not be related. A young person may have a disability, and many older people live without a disability. While aging can affect hearing, vision, and mobility, disability has much less to do with age than stereotyped assumptions. In addition, age-related disabilities require the same patience and care as genetic or accidental disabilities.

Above all, be respectful. Just because someone is crippled doesn't mean they deserve less respect than anyone else. See people as people, not as invalids. Focus on the person and their personality. If you have to label disabled, it's best to ask him what terminology he prefers to use. In general, you should follow the golden rule: treat others the way you would like them to treat you.
- Many (but not all) people with disabilities prefer to have their name listed first before talking about the disability they have. For example, you could say "Roma cerebral paralysis", "Oksana is visually impaired", or "Katya uses a wheelchair", rather than saying that the person is mentally retarded/disabled (pronounced patronizingly) or referring to "a blind girl" or "a girl in a wheelchair".
- Treat a person with a disability like anyone else.
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I am often asked, especially by those who rarely communicate with me, if there are any unshakable rules in communicating with people with disabilities. Those with whom we communicate often do not even think of such thoughts - they know that it is difficult to offend me. For example, I will not be offended by the phrase: "Zhen, let's go have lunch." I will not correct a person in hysterics: “Let's go?!?! I can't walk!!! How could you suggest that?!"

But still, many familiar words and phrases can offend. For example, such comparisons as “sick / healthy”, “normal / abnormal”, “normal / defective”, “mentally retarded”, “down” - they seem to be familiar, but offend. I often hear how a mother, explaining to her child who saw me in a wheelchair, says: “Aunt is sick.” No - I get sick when I have snot and a fever, and I'm in a wheelchair because I don't have to ride in a car with drunk drivers and be sure to fasten my seat belt.

Now many journalists use the phrase "person with disabilities". This does not anger me at all, the main thing is that the media raises the topic of disability. But many of my, so to speak, friends in misfortune are dissatisfied. Therefore, it is easier and more correct to say: a person with a disability. Or a wheelchair user, or visually impaired or hearing impaired, or with Down syndrome or autism (but not autistic in any way). In general, do not be shy to ask how it will be more correct from the people with disabilities themselves.

And here are 10 general rules etiquette compiled by people with disabilities:

1. When you talk to a person with a disability, speak directly to him, not to his companion or sign language interpreter, who are present during the conversation.

2. When you are introduced to a person with a disability, it is natural to shake their hand - even those who have difficulty moving their arm or who use a prosthesis may well shake hands (right or left), which is perfectly acceptable.

3. When you meet a person who has poor or no vision, be sure to name yourself and those people who came with you. If you have a general conversation in a group, do not forget to explain who you are currently addressing and identify yourself. Be sure to warn out loud when you step aside (even if you step aside for a short time).

4. If you offer help, wait for it to be accepted and then ask what and how to do. If you do not understand, do not be shy - ask again.

5. Treat children with disabilities by their first names and teenagers and older as adults.

6. Leaning or hanging from someone's wheelchair is the same as leaning on or hanging from its owner. A wheelchair is part of the untouchable space of the person who uses it.

7. When talking to someone who is having difficulty communicating, listen carefully. Be patient, wait for him to finish the sentence himself. Do not correct or negotiate for him. Feel free to ask again if you do not understand the interlocutor.

8. When you are talking to a person using a wheelchair or crutches, position yourself so that your eyes and his eyes are at the same level. It will be easier for you to talk, and your interlocutor will not need to throw back his head.

9. To get the attention of a person who is hard of hearing, wave or pat them on the shoulder. Look him straight in the eyes and speak clearly, although be aware that not all people who are hard of hearing can read lips. When talking with those who can read lips, position yourself so that the light falls on you and you can be clearly seen, try not to interfere with anything and nothing obscures you.

10. Don't be embarrassed if you accidentally said "See you" or "Did you hear about this...?" someone who can't really see or hear. When passing something into the hands of a blind person, never say "Feel it" - say the usual words "Look at it."

What pisses me off the most:

- When they start helping without asking how it is right, and if you start explaining how to do it better, they get offended! Like I didn't appreciate the rush of help!

- When they try to translate the topic, believing that it can upset me. For example, the choice ski resort, buying new high-heeled shoes or having sex. Like, it's not available to the disabled, so it's not worth talking about. Nonsense)))

“When they start complaining about your life… Dude, look at me and thank God for your little troubles!”

I have one rule of behavior with people with disabilities: be natural and communicate as equals. If a person does not have a leg, this does not mean that he does not have brains.

ETIQUET OF COMMUNICATION WITH THE DISABLED

10 general rules of etiquette

These rules are used by US public service workers.

They are compiled by K. Meyer, US National Accessibility Center.

1. When you talk to a person with a disability, speak directly to him, and not to the accompanying or sign language interpreter who is present during the conversation.

2. When you are introduced to a disabled person, it is quite natural to shake his hand - even those who have difficulty moving their arms or who use a prosthesis may well shake hands - right or left, which is quite acceptable.

3. When you meet a person who sees poorly or does not see at all, be sure to name yourself and those people who came with you. If you have a general conversation in a group, do not forget to explain to whom you are currently addressing and identify yourself.

4. If you offer help, wait for it to be accepted and then ask what and how to do. If you do not understand, do not be shy - ask again.

5. Treat disabled adults like adults. You can only call people by name or “na you” if you know each other well.

6. Leaning or hanging on someone's wheelchair is the same as leaning on or hanging on its owner. A wheelchair is part of the untouchable space of the person who uses it.

7. When talking to a person who has difficulty communicating, listen carefully. Be patient, wait for him to finish the sentence himself. Do not correct or negotiate for him. Never pretend you understand when you really don't.

9. To get the attention of a person who is hard of hearing, wave or pat on the shoulder. Look him straight in the eyes and speak clearly, although be aware that not all people who are hard of hearing can read lips. When talking with those who can read lips, position yourself so that the light falls on you and you can be clearly seen, try not to interfere with anything (food, cigarettes, hands).

10. Don't be embarrassed if you accidentally said: "See you" or: "Did you hear about this ...?" someone who can't really see or hear.

People with mobility difficulties

Don't think that having to use a wheelchair is a tragedy. This is a way of more free (if there are no barriers) movement. There are people who have not lost the ability to walk and can move around with the help of crutches, canes, etc., but use a wheelchair to save energy and move faster. If your offer of help is accepted, ask what needs to be done and follow the instructions carefully.

If you are allowed to push the stroller, roll it slowly at first. The stroller picks up speed quickly and an unexpected jolt can cause you to lose balance.

Always personally check the availability of places where events are planned. Ask in advance what problems or barriers might arise and how they can be addressed.

If there are architectural barriers, warn about them so that the person has the opportunity to make decisions in advance. If your office, store, or bank has a ramp, keep it open and don't forget to clear snow and break ice on it in winter.

If you are preparing a meeting that includes people with mobility difficulties, make sure that where there are barriers (steps, doors, thresholds, etc.) there are people ready to help. Make sure that the person using the stroller can reach the things they need.

If possible, position yourself so that your faces are at the same level. Avoid a position in which your interlocutor needs to throw back his head.

People with poor eyesight and the blind

Visual impairment has many degrees. Completely blind people are only about 10%, the rest of the people have residual vision, they can distinguish between light and shadow, sometimes the color and shape of an object. Some have poor peripheral vision, while others have poor direct vision with good peripheral vision. All this can be clarified and taken into account when communicating.

Always find out in what form the person wants to receive information: Braille, large print (16-18), floppy disk, audio cassette. If you do not have the opportunity to translate the information into the desired format, give it in the form in which it is - it's still better than nothing.

If this is an important letter or document, you do not need to give it to touch for persuasiveness. At the same time, do not replace reading with retelling. When a blind person has to sign a document, be sure to read it. Disability does not release a person from the liability stipulated by the document.

When offering your assistance with moving, guide the person, walk as you normally would. No need to grab a blind person by the hand - it helps him to maintain balance.

Don't be offended if your help is rejected.

Briefly describe where you are. For example: "In the center of the hall, about six steps away from you, there is a table." Or: "To the left of the door, as you enter, there is a coffee table." Warn of obstacles: steps, puddles, pits, low ceilings, pipes, etc. Pay attention to the presence of breakable objects.

Use, if appropriate, phrases that characterize sound, smell, distance. Be aware, however, that not everyone likes it. Share what you see. "

Treat guide dogs differently than regular pets. Do not command or play with your guide dog.

Do not take away or squeeze the person's cane.

Always speak directly to the person, even if he cannot see you, and not to his sighted companion.

Always identify yourself and introduce others as well as the rest of the audience. If you want to shake hands, say so.

When you invite a blind person to sit down, do not sit him down, but point his hand to the back of the chair or armrest. If you introduce him to an unfamiliar object, do not run his hand over the surface, but give him the opportunity to freely touch the object. If you are asked to help pick up an object, you should not pull the hand of a blind person to the object and take this object with his hand.

At the table: If you offer a blind person a new dish (or several snacks on one plate), you can explain to him what is where, using the principle of the clock face. For example: "for 12 - a piece of cheese, for 3 - salad, for 6 - bread."

When you communicate with a group of blind people, do not forget to name the person you are addressing each time.

Do not force your interlocutor to broadcast into the void: if you are moving, warn him.

It is perfectly normal to use the expression "look". For a blind person, this means “seeing with hands”, touching.

Avoid vague definitions, descriptions and instructions that are usually accompanied by gestures, expressions like: "the glass is somewhere on the table, it's close to you ...". Try to be precise: "The glass is in the middle of the table", "The chair is to your right."

Try to convey in words what is often expressed by facial expressions and gestures - do not forget that the usual gesture "there ..." a blind person will not understand.

If you notice that a blind person has lost his way, do not control his movement from a distance, come up and help him get on the right path.

When descending or ascending stairs, lead the blind person perpendicular to them. When moving, do not make jerky, sudden movements. When accompanying a blind person, do not lay your hands back - this is inconvenient.

10 general rules of etiquette when dealing with children with disabilities and children with disabilities

1. When communicating with a disabled child, contact him directly, and not the accompanying parent.

2. It is natural to shake hands with a person with a disability – even those who have difficulty moving their arm or who use a prosthesis.

3. When meeting a visually impaired person, be sure to name yourself and everyone who is with you. If you have a general conversation in a group, do not forget to explain who you are currently addressing and identify yourself.

4. When offering help, wait until it is accepted, and then ask what and how to do. If you do not understand, do not be shy - ask again.

5. Treat children with disabilities by their first names, and already teenagers as adults.

6. Leaning or hanging from someone's wheelchair is the same as leaning on or hanging from its owner.

7. When talking to a person who has difficulty communicating, listen carefully. Be patient, wait for him to finish the sentence himself. Do not correct or negotiate for him. Feel free to ask again if you do not understand the interlocutor

8. When you are talking to a person using a wheelchair or crutches, try to position yourself so that your eyes are at the same level. It will be easier for you to talk, and your interlocutor will not need to throw back his head.

9. To get the attention of a person who is hard of hearing, wave or pat on the shoulder. Look him straight in the eyes and speak clearly.

10. Don't be embarrassed if you accidentally said: "See you" or: "Did you hear about this ...?" someone who can't really see or hear.

Disabled people are the same people, only the most, the most ...

Disability- this is not a deprivation of fate, it is rather such a way of life under the circumstances, and this way of life can be very interesting - both to me and to others.
(Elena Dunaeva, disabled person of group I)

The information was prepared by a teacher-psychologist at MBOU "Secondary School No. 1" in Megion

Features of interaction with

disabled children

and children with disabilities

Tactics of interaction with children with disabilities and children with disabilities

Children hiding health problems: children clearly have a negative self-attitude and rejection of the fact of their physical limitation or disability.

Necessary:

ü To remove the feeling of fear in communication, caused by the feeling of one's inconsistency with the world around;

ü Prepare for the possibility of incorrect behavior on the part of others, for an adequate perception of this behavior;

ü To form a compensatory mechanism in the child, revealing his internal reserves (positive attitude, success in any type of activity, overcoming difficulties and fixing on success, etc.);

ü Support the child in the pursuit of finding meaning in his life, achieving concrete and real life prospects.

Children who do not hide health problems:

Behaviors:

1. Manipulation of others through their state of health: Position: “Everyone owes me!”

Necessary:

ü Cultivate independence and personal responsibility for one's life, excluding excessive guardianship;

ü Learn to manage your actions: plan, look for internal and external resources;

ü Create situations of success;

ü To develop the need for self-knowledge, self-regulation, correct self-presentation.

2. Behavior like "I am myself!"

Position: by all means overcome your difficulties on your own; annoyed when they are treated as weak.

Necessary:

ü To form a real attitude to their state of health;

ü Help the child to establish the limit of acceptable psychophysiological costs;

ü Learn to ask for help if necessary, while not feeling false shame.

Children who are unaware of their health status

Necessary:

ü Prepare for the perception of real information about the state of his health and the limitations that he will meet;

ü “Do not tie” him to the fact of the state of health in the process of further activities with him;

ü Having determined the “points of growth”, the prospects for its development, taking into account the state of health, purposefully create situations of success;

ü To form a compensatory mechanism in the child that allows him to successfully overcome the difficulties of socialization - “turning the disadvantages of a defect into the advantages of compensation” (po).

Every year on December 3, International Day of Persons with Disabilities is celebrated. Disabled children are one of the most vulnerable social categories. These are not just someone's lives, but barely begun lives, sometimes spent in suffering.. Fortunately, children perceive the world differently than adults, and the “stigma” - a disabled person (which literally means “unsuitable”) - does not sound as offensive to them as to the first.

Disability, especially due to severe and incurable diagnoses, is always a disaster, even in childhood it happens, even in adulthood.

If the "feature" of the child is visible outwardly or he is inadequate in behavior - these are almost always sideways glances. Unfortunately, our society is not yet familiar with inclusion and does not really strive for tolerance in relation to “not like everyone else”. If there were friends, there are fewer of them, or they disappear altogether. Both mother and child, in the absence of character, strong ties with the outside world, without active relatives, can be doomed to involuntary isolation.

We need to change our stereotypes. Change attitudes towards children with disabilities and learn how to communicate with them without infringing on their rights and dignity. To do this, there are rules of etiquette when dealing with children with disabilities:

Communicating with a disabled child, address directly to him, and not to the accompanying parent.
It is natural to shake hands with a person with a disability – even those who have difficulty moving their arm or who use a prosthesis.
When meeting a visually impaired person, be sure to identify yourself and everyone with you. If you have a general conversation in a group, do not forget to explain who you are currently addressing and identify yourself.
When offering help, wait for it to be accepted, and then ask what and how to do. If you do not understand, do not be shy - ask again.
Treat children with disabilities by their first names, and treat teenagers as adults.
Leaning or hanging from someone's wheelchair is the same as leaning or hanging from its owner.
When talking to someone who is having difficulty communicating, listen carefully. Be patient, wait for him to finish the sentence himself. Do not correct or negotiate for him. Feel free to ask again if you do not understand the interlocutor
When you are talking to a person using a wheelchair or crutches, try to position yourself so that your eyes are at the same level. It will be easier for you to talk, and your interlocutor will not need to throw back his head.
To get the attention of a person who is hard of hearing, wave or pat them on the shoulder. Look him straight in the eyes and speak clearly.
Don't be embarrassed if you accidentally said "See you" or "Did you hear about this...?" someone who can't really see or hear.